Are You Jealous?

Can men and women really just be friends? It depends a lot on the individual, but it does seem possible. However, this doesn't make it any easier for some people to accept their partner's friends of the opposite sex. A little bit of doubt about your partner's opposite-sex-friendships is only natural, but, there is a difference between occasionally feeling uneasy about the relationship and actually being a jealous person. Jealousy can be detrimental to relationships, so if you believe you have jealous tendencies, you should do everything in your power to rectify the situation, if you want your relationship to last.

Chances are that if you are a jealous partner, you may not realize that you are acting in a jealous manner. Jealousy is a feeling that we can all acknowledge and admit to ourselves. But if your jealousy has become a bigger part of who you are, you may actually ignore the feeling and just go straight to the jealous actions, convincing yourself in the process that everything you do or say is justified. To determine whether you are jealous, ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you allow your significant other to hang out with his or her opposite-sex friends without you?
• Do you argue with your partner about his or her friends?
• Do you often feel paranoid that he or she is having an affair?
• Have you accused your partner of having an affair more than once with no proof?
• Do you feel possessive or territorial whenever your partner is talking to someone new?
• Do you constantly worry about what your partner is doing when he or she is not with you, call him or her more than once within a few hours, or ask other people about what he or she has been up to?

If you answered yes to any of the aforementioned questions, then you may be a jealous partner. This does not make you a bad person; it just means that you will have to consciously make an effort to not freak out whenever your partner talks to a person of the opposite sex, or same sex, for that matter. Being jealous often stems from some sort of uncertainty in the relationship or insecurity within yourself. If you are confident with yourself and your relationship, then there really is no need to be jealous.

If you are worried about your partner's opposite-sex friends, think about your friends of the opposite sex and how your partner acts toward them. If you are bothered by the suitors looking at your partner when you go out together, don't be mad! Be happy that you found such a great catch. If your partner makes plans with friends without you, don't automatically assume he or she is having an affair. A little bit of space is good in any relationship. Give your partner the freedom to hang out with his or her friends, and then you go hang out with yours as well. Trust your partner until he or she gives you a reason not to.