Many of us spend very little conscious time thinking about our values, those principles that are most important to us.

This is not to say that we don't have values; we learn from our parents, our teachers, our culture and our friends. Most of us have learned to distinguish right from wrong, to be considerate and helping to others, and to provide for those closest to us. Even if the process is unconscious, we do live, to some degree or another, according to our values.

NLP Training teaches us to differentiate between beliefs and values. Beliefs are ideas that we hold to be true on a a conscious level, while values lie at the core of our unconscious being, driving us to action. Indeed, beliefs are tied to values, but values are much deeper and powerful.

When our day-to-day life lines up with our deepest values, we are fulfilled and happy. There may be a feeling of overall happiness, that "things are moving in the right direction." On the contrary, when we fail to live up to our values, we may find ourselves in the wrong relationships, wrong jobs, or we may even become ill. Unfortunately, sometimes our values conflict and the picture becomes more complicated.

Let's say that two of my values are having fun and spending time with my friends. One night, I get a call that my buddies want to go out on the town, to say farewell to a close friend who is leaving on a long journey. I know that this group likes to drink alcohol, eat greasy food and stay out late, all of which I really enjoy from time to time. I tell my friends that I will be there for sure, but then my boss calls and says we have an important meeting at 9:00 AM the next day. Houston, we have a problem! My values of fun and spending time with friends are coming face-to-face with other cherished values, such as doing a good job at work and taking care of my body.

NLP Training can help you sort out this situation by teaching you how to elicit your own and someone else's values. This is too much to explain in a blog post, but I will introduce some helpful techniques here and in the following series of articles.
You can begin by asking yourself a simple question: What is important to you about your job? About your relationship? Try using one word responses like 'accomplishment,' 'learning,' 'security,' etc.

Once we figure out our true values, we can incorporate them into goals, priorities and everyday life. Each one of us needs to be constantly asking the following simple, yet extremely telling, question: How truly am I living to my values?

Stay tuned for a new series of posts expanding on the relationship between values and NLP Training, including Values-Based Living, Values-Based Business and Values-Based Coaching.

Author's Bio: 

Nicole Schneider is a Senior Trainer at Global NLP Training, the international leader in NLP Practitioner training courses.