Are You Really Listening and Communicating?

One of the things I have learned that is most interesting to me is the difference in how men and women process language, speak and listen differently.

While women process words, language instantly and think and process out-loud as they are rapidly talking (and maybe multi-tasking too), men tend to process feelings, words and language in their heads and more carefully choose their words instinctively in their heads first before they open their mouth to speak, as if their life depends on it.

SO the relationship tip for women is: when you ask a man a question, wait a minimum of 30 seconds before you interrupt his processing. If you wait a little longer you will be amazed at how much you will get. Have your listening be from a place of curiosity, rather than from “what does this have to do with me?” or “what does he need from me to support him.” Be patient with men, they have a lot to say as long as we give them the space they need to dig deep.

The relationship tip for men is: be patient with us, often we jump from subject to subject, with no real point; sometimes we just need to talk (empty our baskets). Please listen to us with curiosity and not from “what’s the point” or try to fix anything (unless we ask you). If you just utter “uh huh,” and if you ask us at the end when we are done emptying, “Is there anything you told me you want me to remember or comment on?” Then we will be happy and feel listened too!

Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call or contact me so I can support you in having the best life you’ve ever had!

©2007- 2009 Dr. Cindy Brown