Are you pinching your flow of abundance?: 4 kink-relieving techniques

We live in a society that values “being in control”. Take the mirror image and you find rage…everywhere: home, office, road, airplane, and premenstrual rage; you name it, it probably already exists. You cannot have one – in this case, being in control – without the other – that is, being out of control. Here is a lesson for you: emotions are energy in motion, that is, they need to continue moving, and if controlled or managed, can emerge in subtle or overt ways when you least expect or want them.

To understand something helps to eliminate the fear or energetic charge associated with it. So, what is this four-letter word, "rage", anyhow? Simply put, it is an intense form of anger and a strong reaction to feelings of fear, sadness, shame, inadequacy, guilt or loss. It shows up as sulking, silent smoldering, manipulation, intimidation, passive aggressiveness, emotional blackmail, yelling and screaming, physical expressions of anger, violence or threats of violence, and punishment.

According to authors of The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness Gary Zukav and Linda Francis, rage is a shame- and inadequacy-based expression of anger that can be illustrated using the iceberg phenomenon. Remember the expression, “That is only the tip of the iceberg”? The tip or the part that protrudes above the surface of the water is anger. Obviously most of the iceberg lies below the surface, where an immense emotional substructure exists. Below anger lie much larger discoveries waiting to be revealed.

Children who were typically shamed or punished by their parents or caretakers for expressing emotion are more likely to engage in rage. This feeling has become the direct result of being continually told, "Nice/good girls do not get angry" and "Be a man and do not cry". Also, children who were abused and held in their anger often develop addictions later in life. These coping mechanisms – which are far from ideal - serve as a way to stuff down the feelings of shame, anger, isolation, fear, sadness, and loss the abuse has produced.

Contrary to what you may have been raised to believe, anger is a natural and required emotion. Anger itself is neither right nor wrong. It is also neither healthy nor unhealthy. Where anger does become unhealthy is when it is repressed, suppressed or expressed as rage or vengeance.

If you fear the enormous power inherent in your or others’ anger – sometimes as big as a volcano waiting to erupt – perhaps you will gain comfort knowing that individuals who are angry are frightened. Anger, plus the fear behind it, is what makes them blame others – or make the latter look wrong, inferior, or inadequate – because they feel inadequate and/or doubt – instead of love and trust – themselves and life. Anger has a mind of its own: it wants what it wants, when it wants it, and on the terms that it wants it. And instead of channeling creativity into getting to know and understand oneself and life better, anger can suppress this evolution and cause you to be defensive.

Let us step back and look at the bigger picture. In life, you continually come across what your soul wants you to encounter. When you resist your experiences, you resist your life purpose and the Universe’s guidance and assistance. That resistance shows up as pain. And guess what? Angry outbursts are painful experiences – not emotional explorations. So, when you are not aware that your body is hurting, you cannot do anything about it. When you do not do anything about your aches and pains – or numbness, which is even worse – the cause of the pain and the release of energy from your energy system due to fear and doubt will persist.

So, what are simple ways you can feed your self-esteem and nurture your soul, the next time you:

- Feel out of control?
- Do not get what you want, even if it is as trivial as an unreturned phone call or smile?
- Make a mistake?
- Feel your hormones raging, as in “road rage” or “premenstrual rage”?

Let me explain. The cause of anger is lack of self-worth. It is an experience of powerlessness, … of not being able to see your value, … of not believing in yourself and not trusting life. It is a feeling that the Universe is ignoring you. In reality, it is sending you a strong message that you are important in the larger picture of life, and have the power to make a difference to anyone or anything.

4 kink-relieving techniques for increasing your flow of abundance

Technique #1 - Choose powerful interpretations: Each interpretation you make either adds to or takes away from the quality of your life. So, why not empower yourself by picking interpretations that make you feel the best about yourself? Here is something to get you started:

Select one event or situation from your past that felt painful, embarrassing or hurtful. Think about how you interpreted this event by remembering what you made it mean about you. Next, devise three positive interpretations of this event that would leave you feeling strong and powerful rather than weak and victimized. Write this interpretation down and read it to yourself every day that week. From that point on, observe shifts that naturally occur in your internal or external world as a result of you having completed this exercise.

Technique #2 - Be loving: Make a conscious choice not to act out your anger: Start small, that is, do not waste your thoughts and energy on trivial or unimportant things. Then work your way up to bigger challenges.

Technique #3 - Be emotionally aware: When the anger begins to well up in your body, notice where it is coming from and feel it fully. (Feeling anger is healthy whereas expressing anger is not.) Deliberately focus your attention on, and breathe fully into that area. The in breath is through your nose, while the out breath is through your mouth. Allow the wave of anger to fully cascade through that part of the body and avoid the temptation of judging the emotion.

Technique #4 - Be proactive: Determine what makes you angry and what you will do the next time you feel this way. Feel free to use the following as a guide: When I am/do ________, I feel __________ , and to protect myself I will ____________.

If you are being unconsciously guided by anger or rage on a daily or weekly basis and using these feelings as reasons not to take action on changes you want to make, it is time to stop. Any excuse you are giving yourself is actually keeping you from your full future. Please think about it – your life is worth it.