Definition: Parenting Advice

nnParenting AdvicenIt is important that you understand what type of parent you want to be in order for you for to maintain consistency and clarity. Here is some terrific parental advice from the experts.

nThere is general consensus around parents providing the basic necessities, with increasing interest in children's rights within the home environment.nnProviding physical security Providing physical security refers to a safety of a child's body, safety of a child's life.nn * To provide physical safety: shelter, clothes, nourishmentn * To protect a child from dangers; physical caren * To care for a child's healthnnProviding physical development Developing a child physically refers to providing a conditions to a healthy growth of a child.nn * To provide a child with the means to develop physicallyn * To train the body of a child, to introduce to sportn * To develop habits of healthn * Physical gamesnnProviding intellectual security Intellectual security refers to the conditions, in which a child's mind can develop. If the child's dignity is safe, that is nobody encroaches upon a child physically or verbally, then he is able to learn.nn * To provide an atmosphere of peace and justice in family, where no one's dignity is encroached upon.n * To provide "no-fear," "no-threat,"no-verbal abuse" environmentn * To spend bonding times and share wonderful moments with childrennnProviding intellectual development Intellectual development means providing opportunity to a child to learn - to learn about laws of nature and moral laws.nn * Reading, writing, calculating etc.n * Intellectual gamesn * Social skills and etiquetten * Moral and spiritual developmentn o Ethics and value systemsn o Norms and contributions to the child's belief and cultural customsnnProviding emotional security To provide security to a child is to help protect and shield the child's fragile psyche. It is to provide a safe loving environment, give a child a sense of being loved, being needed, welcomed.nn * To give a child a sense of being loved through:n o Emotional support, encouragementn o Attachment, caressing, hugging, touch, etc.nnProviding emotional developmentnndevelopment refers to giving a child an opportunity to love other people, to care, to help.nn * Developing in a child an ability to love through:n o Showing empathy and compassion to younger and older, weaker and sicker, etc.n o Caring for others, helping grandparents, etc.nnParenting models, tools, philosophies and practicesnn "Rules of traffic" model It is an instructional approach to upbringing. Parents explain to their children how to behave, assuming that they taught the rules of behavior as they did the rules of traffic. What you try to teach a child doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll get through to them. For example, a teenager was told "a thousand times" that stealing was wrong yet the teen continued to do so. The problem of parenting, in this case, is not that they tried to teach him/her the right thing, but that they considered parenting as a single, narrow minded method of parenting, without fulfilling the range of parental duties.nn "Fine gardening" model Parents believe that children have positive and negative qualities, the latter of which parents should "weed out" or "prune" into an appropriate shape. The problem in this parenting method is that parents fight with the faults of their child rather than appreciate their current achievements and/or capabilities; a method which may continue through their whole life without success.nn "The models “rules of traffic” and “fine gardening” are especially dangerous because we, following our best motives, constantly quarrel with our children, destroy relationships, and all our parental work becomes a hopeless effort. Moreover, we don’t understand why this has happened." S.Soloveychik, [1]nn "Reward and punishment" model "RaP" is a most popular model of parenting based on logic: for a good action - a reward/praise and for a bad action - a punishment/scolding/reprimand. To teach a child by this logic is relatively easy and can even be effective, especially if it is done consistently. It is because it forms a sense of justice in a child's mind that it works. But, simultaneously, it imparts the child's universal image of the reward and punishment and when real life doesn't prove to be just it undermines the child's faith in justice, according to S.Soloveychik. He writes "It is dangerous for the future of children. It may happen that a man, grown up by this model, facing the first serious failure or first trouble, would lift his arms and ask, “Why me?”nn

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