Ascension & Leaving the Matrix, Part 4

Well, this is another long article, but it is a stream and I feel I cannot shorten it. My subsequent articles will be a lot shorter. I am hoping that you are so interested in what I am saying that you won’t be able to stop reading this and you won’t even think it is too long. If everything always has to be quick and short with you, then most likely you have problems with patience and have trouble listening, as well. But peace be with you.

I have mentioned to you in my previous articles that I am still working on ascension and leaving the matrix, myself, but I am sharing my insights with you and I feel I am so close to doing it. As I gain new insights, I share them with you, my kindred spirits. I am at the crossroads where I can choose to stay or choose to go. I am in the middle between two worlds…the world that I have created for myself, and the world that I desire to create for myself now.

I have told you that if you are still here, living in this matrix-like culture, then you still must have some false beliefs that connect to that matrix. It might be just one simple concept that you still hold onto and believe in.

Yesterday morning, I wrote my Part 3 article and published it. I would say I had a pretty good day at work and was feeling pretty balanced. I came home, and then it started, the physical symptoms.

Insights Through Illnesses…

I was having this itching in my legs, and when I would scratch them they would bleed. I don’t believe in modern medicine except in certain cases. I know that illness has its roots in false beliefs. I kept thinking it must be bug bites, but it didn’t look like bug bites. I kept wondering why is it all on my legs? If it were bug bites, it would be on other parts of my body, surely? And if it was an allergy, why only on my legs? I thought maybe it was some allergen in the pants I had worn that day, but that didn’t make sense, either, because the symptoms only came up that night and I had been fine all day. Then a skin graft on my foot that had been there since 1975 was beginning to bleed. I wouldn’t have even noticed if I hadn’t looked at it because it didn’t hurt at all. It was from a bad car accident I’d had in 1975 where I almost died and I actually had a near death experience where they told me on the other side that I had a choice to go back to earth or stay there and they showed me what I would generally have to deal with and learn if I went back, but I chose to come back anyway, and it’s been a long long road of extreme challenges and pain, but I have grown a lot and keep growing.

Anyway, I suffered most of the night with these skin conditions, with pain and itching, and took ibuprofens to be able to sleep off and on. I still wasn’t getting any answers as to why this was occurring. It seemed to not be an actual illness with a logical cause; it seemed to by more something psychosomatic.

I didn’t start to get any answers to it until I got up the next day. It was my day off that Friday, and I slept late until around 11 am. I started getting some insights into the illness and what it was about, and I felt inspired to write another article based on what I was seeing. I went to the bathroom first, but it seemed that the ensuing intestinal blockage indicated that I was having lots of trouble releasing something, trouble releasing something in the matrix and leaving this traditional life. I sat there on the toilet trying to find what was the matter. I got some insights, but they weren’t enough. Then I began to see the main false belief. The intestinal problem cleared, and I came back in to start to write this article.

Religious False Beliefs?!!...

False Beliefs Show Up In The Most Unexpected Places!....

You know, I come across a truth many times, but it might be years and years before that truth really sinks in and I fully believe in it and act on it. That’s how it is with these false beliefs I’ve been still holding onto that keep me in the matrix society.

They are religious beliefs, and it has to do with wanting to help people, and it has to do with ways I try to help people. I can’t stand to see all of the suffering, all of the injustices, and all of the darkness, and I believe I am here in this society to try and do something about it. I believe it is my duty and that if I just let it go and don’t try to help in some way, that I am being very unspiritual, and not being a good Christian, or not being a good ascended master. I know things that could help and free them. I have special shamanic healing powers that can heal their diseases. I can’t just walk away from them all, can I? I’m knee-deep in social work. I do mentoring and resource referrals to help people get up out of poverty. I was just starting to schedule a two-part series workshop at the local women’s shelter. I was taking more classes in sociology at the college. Yes, I wanted to leave, but no, I didn’t want to leave.

The thing is that when you stay in the matrix to try and bring more light and healing to people within it, you are then having to live their type of lifestyle, in their systems and belief systems, to some extent. I mean, to live how and where I really want to live, that’s so far away from all cities and so hidden that there’s no way I could be driving into town to do social work somewhere, it just cannot be done. And anytime you try to help people, the dark forces try to stop you and it creates trouble for you, I don’t care how ascended you may be, it will cause you trouble. Your physical symptoms will be showing you that you are not actually doing what God really wants you to be doing, where he wants you to be doing it. It seems like you are doing what God wants, for any good Christian is expected to help relieve people’s suffering and bring them more truth, right? Isn’t that why you are really here in this life? And isn’t every Christian supposed to be willing to suffer and deal with dark force trouble to help others and bring more light into the world? Isn’t that what Jesus did, he suffered to bring the world healing? When we take communion, we are ingesting Jesus and what he did back then, we are ingesting the Cross, and that attracts suffering in the name of Jesus to us and to our lives.

It is so hard to see this and leave this. It isn’t like I just suddenly became a Christian in this current life; I have been a Christian in many many lives and it is deeply ingrained within me. In this current life,

More About Christianity, New Age….

I became a Christian after many years of being a “new ager” deeply involved in metaphysical beliefs. I managed to sort out what was true within the new age belief systems and what was true in traditional Christianity, and what wasn’t true in both. I came really close to being a traditional Christian, with the exception that I could not stop believing in reincarnation and past lives, and so I came to the conclusion that I still wasn’t a “full Christian” because of this, I was still a “partial Christian,” a term I invented. I became deeply involved with a Christian church (Methodist) and I had been intently watching ministers on TBN for quite a few years, and so I was steeped in it. Something deep inside me had led me back into this, where I had been with it in past lives. At heart, I was still a Christian.

While involved with the Christians (over the last three years in my outer world, and before that for about 4 years watching TBN), I was observing that they all seemed to share certain illusions of the matrix, and I wondered why (and still do wonder why) most of them had really bad eating habits, were not vegetarians, and were all being very telepathically dark force influenced a lot of time. I wondered why so many of them were ill so often, and why so many of them were dying off and couldn’t cure their illnesses, and why they all believed so much in doctors when the doctors couldn’t seem to cure their illnesses. I wondered why they all believed so much in an educational system that was teaching them Darwin’s theories. I wondered why some of them no longer believed in certain truths that were right there in the Bible. I wondered why they had so many judgments. But still, I was with them, because they all loved to give to others who were hurting and poor, and because they were all so nice, and because they all were trying so hard to be good Christians and become more Christlike. I felt connected to this church and to some of its people. I mostly felt connected to the Stephen Ministers who worked there helping people who were going through rough times by listening and caring.

Anyway, I thought of leaving the church and Christianity a number of times, but I couldn’t seem to do it. I loved those people at the church and I loved that church. I loved being given opportunities to help people through that church as a Stephen Minister myself. I loved being able to help the poor. I loved mentoring. I loved social work. Yet at the same time I could see all of their illusions, both where I worked and at the church, and I kept wondering why I was there. I would dream of living in a higher consciousness intentional community out in nature somewhere, with “my people,” those who were seeing all I was seeing, who had left the matrix, too. But something kept me where I was…what was it?

Recent Insights, Matrix and Out of Matrix…

This morning I had some insights and I can no longer keep ignoring these insights. Anytime I think of staying in the matrix to help others, I must reread these insights so I don’t forget them again. Here they are:

1. Any time you are helping others, you are doing this at what cost to yourself? Is it affecting you physically, financially, emotionally?
2. You have false beliefs of the matrix, that’s why you’re still in it. What are those false beliefs?
3. You have been taught by Christians that it is your spiritual duty to be willing to suffer to bring truth and healing to those who are suffering, that Jesus suffered and was willing to do so to save the world, and you must be the same. You ingest this idea every time you take communion, and every time you have to deal with dark forces, every time you have financial problems or health problems, and every time to you choose to stay in the matrix to help others.
4. If the work and lifestyle you are in brings you feelings of love, peace, and joy, then you are in the place where God wants you to be, doing what God wants you to be doing, and you’re on the right path. If not, then what you are doing is not right for you. You are not meant to suffer. God wants your joy, peace and lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of. Is this being selfish? Aren’t you supposed to help others and isn’t that why you incarnated?
5. You can help others while being in love, joy and peace, while living the lifestyle you want to live. The big question is always how? You can help from a distance, through writing books, writing articles, speaking on television and radio, yet while living the life you want to live out in nature in spiritual community where you are with your kindred spirits.
6. Okay, but doesn’t that still attract trouble and dark forces? Even if I’m not living in the matrix and interacting with people directly in the matrix? Answer: Once you’ve reached a certain light quotient (level of ascension and truth), then nothing can hurt you or cause you pain and trouble. If you are living the lifestyle you want to live and it is full of light and love and peace, living close to nature with your people you were always meant to be with, and if you are helping from a distance and not getting directly involved with people and work that’s within the matrix of false beliefs, then you’re doing what God wants you to be doing and working at your level of expertise and truth without getting pulled down by living and working directly with people within the matrix of false beliefs (I just channeled that answer).

The Hymnologies of Illness….

So, then I realized what the problem was with the skin on my legs and with my intestines. The legs to me, and the feet, symbolize forward movement, progressing to one’s next steps, going where you really want to go. If you are staying in something somewhere when you need to be moving on and forward, then there’s a false belief keeping you stuck. You need to release something, a place, a work, a people, and false beliefs, in order to move forward in your life, work and lifestyle, in order to be with the new people you are meant to be with. Intestines are about releasing what you need to release. The main insight that unclogged my intestines today was that we are not expected to suffer and sacrifice as Jesus did in order to help people in the matrix. If helping others is costing you too much in terms of finances, health, lifestyle and illness, then don’t do it, it’s the wrong path. If what you are doing brings you continual love, peace and joy, then it’s the right path.

Am I Just Being Selfish To Leave Them To Their Sufferings?

One day I got a channeling that said something like, “God wants you to be continually prospering, in health, wealth, joy, passion, living in a beautiful natural environment, with people on your level of ascension, ingesting whole fresh purest foods, in an idealic, peaceful, joyful lifestyle. That’s what God wants for you.”

Can I Just Walk Away?

But although that sounded great, I was still convinced I should be helping people in the matrix, which involved a certain degree of problems and suffering for me while I was doing it, as this was the Christian thing to do and for me to just leave and go off and be happy seemed selfish and even cruel. There were people suffering in the world, and how could I just walk away from this and not help? And didn’t Jesus expect me to be willing to suffer to help others and the world? I did see that I could help outside of the matrix in other ways, like maybe helping those who were on the crossroads trying to leave the matrix but unsure how or if they should, or like helping others within the spiritual community I was intending to go live with, or like writing books about what I knew, etc.

Can I Wake Up & Heal Old Friends?

But still, I didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t stand to see old friends (from past lives and from this life) still suffering. I’d get insights and channelings saying that they are all too far gone into illusions and what I know that could help them they could not believe and they’d just think I was crazy. They couldn’t accept that they were in so much illusion. And they could not go too much into metaphysical realities, and yet that’s what moves them forward in their growth and truth. And of course, they believed everything in the Bible (the ones who still did, that is), and they would not accept that there has been a mass misinterpretation of certain things in the Bible, or that the Catholic Church removed certain important things from the Bible, or that Jesus WAS married to Mary Magdalene, or that the missing segments of the Bible that were found contained important truths such as that Jesus said we should all be vegetarians. No. I could not tell them the things that would heal them and their lives. Leaving the matrix and all of its false beliefs was the only thing that could free them from the suffering and troubles. I could not tell them all of this. They wouldn’t believe it.

But still, I could listen and care when they were troubled and hurting, I could give hope, I could show them some truths that they were on the verge of being ready to see at the level they were at, and so, I still stayed.

At What Cost To Yourself Is Helping?

But I stayed at what cost to myself? What’s my suffering, what’s my sacrifice and trouble, and is it right that I suffer to be able to help others?

Does Jesus expect me to suffer to try and help? Or is that just a misconception in Christianity?

Only God Can Help Them Now….

How much can I really help? I have come to the conclusion that only God can help them all now. They all believe in things that are not real, not connected to truth and life of joy. Eating habits, doctors, medicines, death, war, eating meat, education, government. And those who try to help others and relieve their suffering cannot do so being in such low light quotients themselves. For instance, just giving someone a tiny bit of financial help once in a great while doesn’t help them to get back on their feet, and it doesn’t heal their souls and their psychology. Psychology can no longer help them, either, as it has been polluted by dark force beliefs in the textbooks and it has changed from the more enlightened modes of psychology taught back in the sixties. They need God and the Bible, yes, but they need more that’s beyond that, too; and most are not willing to even hear anything about God or the Bible, much less about what’s beyond those levels. Social work doesn’t usually help, unless it’s being done on really high levels of light, and most times it isn’t. Most agencies don’t have enough funding to help more, or help more people.

Worldwide Poverty Consciousness…

In fact, the whole world now seems to be in what I would call :”poverty consciousness,” which doesn’t just refer to the poor, but refers to middle class and upper class, refers to those of color and those who are white, in every country, every city and every gender. Poverty, inner poverty, is rampant. It starts on the insides of one’s consciousness, and eventually it moves into a person’s outer world which now contains a lot of lack, and lack leads to outer and inner suffering at greater levels. This is why all of the world’s economies are slowly crashing. Christianity does help, it’s still a strong light in the world, and it can help with illness and financial problems and relationship issues. But it still isn’t enough because there are things missing from the Bible that were removed from the Bible, there are new truths for a new age that the Bible doesn’t and cannot talk about because this is now, not then, the world is different now. Dark forces are different now and have new hidden methods that no one sees except those who see in very high light levels. The world is asleep in a nightmare.

How Much Comfort Within The Matrix?

You can attain a certain level of inner comfort and outer comfort, within the matrix, by knowing certain truths, being optimistic and positive, helping others. But the world keeps getting darker, and Christians are getting weaker, because illusions are so rampant, even within the Christian community, and so those of us who see and know more must help, yes, but without serious suffering and costs to ourselves!! We are not meant to suffer in order to help! And for most, at this point, only God can help them.

Armageddon, The Rapture, Jesus Returns?

I do tend to believe that there will be some sort of Armageddon experience where there is some sort of appearance of Jesus with incredible miracles and insights flowing through humanity, but I can’t say for sure; it just seems like some sort of huge miracle like this is needed to wake people up; it’s like we need a return of Jesus to explain it all for us to help us in this modern age, and it’s like we need a new, updated Bible that’s more relevant to what’s going on now and what heals and releases it.

Are we helping all that much and to what level?

I just didn’t want to accept the idea that I couldn’t help them all that much. Everyone who is helping thinks they are helping a lot, but there is so much farther to go and there is so much illusion in those they help and in the helpers themselves, that they are not helping as much as they think, and none of them want to see this fact. The Devil has a lot of mass illusions and trickeries going on and almost everyone has bought into at least some of this.

Find The Truth, Know The Truth….

How do you find out the real truth? You pray to the God of the Bible every day, to heal you, intercede for you against dark forces and turn things around, give you insights and revelations, show you the real truth, heal your soul, heal your mind, heal your life. God usually has to lead you into truths very gradually, usually through letting you go through some painful experiences to gain insights and more truth and growth. It is gradual growth over many years; this is because the matrix and its lies are so deep and so massively accepted as truth, and it’s so ingrained from the time you were small, and everyone around you believes in the lies, and these lies go back into your past lives, and you’ve always accepted and believed in every dark matrix in every life, and so God has to gradually teach you in any way he can, through life experiences, your mistakes, teachers, books, friends, whoever and whatever he knows will gradually wake you up.

Having a personal relationship with Jesus helps a lot, too. Learn how to call on Jesus, talk to Jesus, feel Jesus’ presence. I am presenting a separate article about how to do this, soon.

Once you have fully left the matrix, what happens is that you feel love, peace and joy all of the time, you never have any physical ailments, and you immediately will see fakirs and recognize any untruths being told to you, and you are in a state of perfected discernment. You are living in a paradise you have always dreamed of, doing what you’ve always wished you could do, and being with the types of people and soul mate you’ve always craved but never found. It’s called, “As above, so below,” or “creating a Heaven on earth.” We are the pioneers in this. The whole world needs to turn into a “heaven on earth.” That’s the goal. And we can only get there by believing in and praying to God for help. We cannot do anything without God’s help at this point.

Author's Bio: 

Zarla Leah is a writer, artist, social worker and minister. She writes about ascension and enlightenment levels, alternative lifestyles and world healing. She can be reached for questions and comments at: