At a Loss

Question: At the age of 52, I am at a loss. It seems to me that whenever I have been passionate about something in life and had the intention, worked towards it and wanted it to happen, it has always rebounded. My husband of 25 years I'm sure loves me in his own way but has never encouraged me in any venture mostly because it takes way from attention given to him. My marriage was on the rocks for most of the 25 years, even as the children were rowing up. I have decided that, since nothing seems to come to fruition despite my best efforts, I will devote my energies, which were previously dedicated to the rest of the world, to him. Although yoga is and will remain the core of my life, I have given up my desire to study Ayurveda and further my knowledge in so many things. At work, I have done my best, not being attached to the results of my efforts, happy that a positive thing was done. I am an intelligent logical woman who has embraced spirituality since childhood. If my Karma is such, what is blocking my path ? I don't feel sorry for myself, I just don't understand what I could be doing wrong. I have read your books and follow your guidelines as they echo my beliefs but I am at a loss because my essence is compromised by this choice which I feel I must make. Answer: It may not be that anything is blocking your path at all. Rather, you are following your life path as you need to, and that process is systematically transforming your beliefs and ideas about what you think your path “should” be. When assessing progress on one’s spiritual path, or in relationships, it is important to separate the ego’s idealization of what you hope and expect it to be from what is the real transformation of the soul that is taking place . The two concepts don’t always coincide, so when life isn’t going according to your dreams and plans it is natural to assume something is wrong or blocking the way, when it is usually only your attachment to your limited perspective that is preventing you from appreciating the perfection of the moment. Love, Deepak