Say goodbye to "No" and "Never"

No and Never are words, actions and the result of negative behaviors. These behaviors can manifest themselves to our personality and affect the way we respond to others. We can change this behavior by learning how to say goodbye to 'NO' and 'NEVER'. It only takes the faith of a small child to see how this behavior can be changed. I want to start by telling you a true story. A young first grade boy named Ryan learned from his teacher Ms Prest that people were dying in Africa because they didn't have clean water to drink. He decided to help by raising money he received from his allowance and from friends and neighbors by doing chores and odd jobs. In his first four months he raised $70.00 which was used to help build the first well at a school in a Ugandan village. The well continues to serve thousands of people today. Ryan’s determination grew from the $70 he collected by doing simple household chores, to a Foundation that today remains committed to bringing clean water and sanitation services to those impacted by the global water and sanitation crisis. Today, the Ryan's Well Foundation has raised millions of dollars and is 10 years old in the making. Go to to find out more.At the age of 7, Ryan Hreljac became a person who learned how to say goodbye to NO and NEVER.

We live in a negative environment and we are inundated with negative messages and feedback. One of the many ways we can move away from the negative aspects of 'no' and 'never' is to learn how to care for someone else. In his book, "Why Good Things Happened to Good People", Dr. Stephen Post found that when you care for other people, good things will happen to you. Dr. Post performed extensive studies which found life changing benefits when people cared, showed kindness and compassion to others. This new research found that when we give of ourselves, everything from life-satisfaction to self realization and physical health is significantly affected. What this says to me is that if we stay connected to others in a caring fashion, we can move away from the negative behaviors of NO and NEVER.

To become connected to others requires that we should learn how to develop others. A person can start this process by:
(1) Helping others gain a greater sense out of the meaning of life by showing you care, portraying kindness and exhibiting compassion.
(2) Knowing how to deal with stress by shifting your focus to helping others.
(3) Helping others feel social integrated and connected.
(4) Helping others feel confident and effective.
(5) Empower others to live a more healthy lifestyle.

You could start using this process of staying connected to others in a caring fashion by volunteering, helping a neighbor or a loved one; or, by showing kindness to others. I was coming out of the Kwick Shop some time ago and I noticed a woman who had her hand's full of food and a drink that was ready to spill at any moment. I quickly grabbed her food and drink so that she could open her car door. She was so thankful to me for doing that small act of kindness that we talked to each other for a least 20 minutes or more. She was a total stranger and I had taken just a few minutes to assist her. I brightened up her day and she left with a big smile on her face.

Often times we get caught up in "What's in it for me" or "I am more important than you" mentality that we miss out on helping others who just need our assistance. Once you get into the habit of helping others by assisting them or making them feel better about themselves; you have taken a big step toward saying goodbye to NO and NEVER. The key I believe to saying goodbye to NO and NEVER is to make it a habit of caring for other people or making them feel better about themselves on a daily basis.

Author's Bio:

B.A. in Recreation Bethany College Lindsborg, KS
A.O.S. in Microcomputers/Telecommunications KCMO
U.S. Army Signal Corps Top Secret Communications Ft. Gordon, GA

15 years instructing leadership courses in the Army Reserves
Courses Instructed:

PLDC - Primary Leadership Development Course
BNCOC- Basic Non-Commissioned Officers Course
ANCOC- Advanced Non-Commissioned Officers Course

Some of the classes instructed include but not limited to:

Human Behavior and Motivation
Military Leadership
Effective Communications
Effective Writing
Risk Management and Risk Assessment
Combat Operations and Combat Orders
Problem Solving and Decision Making
Property Accountability
Land Navigation
Map Reading