One thing that can cause someone to get into self-development is if their life is not very fulfilling. What this can mean is that they haven’t been able to make much progress in life or perhaps they have made progress, but they have only been able to get so far.

Either way, they will be looking for a way to move forward and to life a more enriching life. If they have read a number of books and watched a fair amount of videos, they may have an idea as to why their life is the way that it is.

It’s clear

They could believe that the reason their life is the way it is is because they lack self-esteem. Therefore, once they are able to increase their self-esteem, their life will gradually start to change.

What this will illustrate is that they are going to be in a position where they don’t believe that they deserve to experience life differently. The view that they have of themselves is then going to be what is holding them back.

Moving Forward

One could end up using affirmations, replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts, and changing what they believe. After doing this for a little while, they may find that their life starts to change.

At one point, it will have been as though they had their foot on the break and now this foot will be on the accelerator. They will start to make progress or they could rise to even greater heights.

A Different Outcome

Then again, one may find that even though their life does change, not a lot happens. Alternatively, they may find that they start to move forward, only to end up where they were a short while ago.

This could be a time when they feel really low and wonder if their life will ever change. If this does happen, it might not be long until they get back on their feet and start to think about why this has taken place.

A Closer Look

What may become clear as time goes by is that they have a fear of being seen. It is then not that they don’t believe that they deserve to experience life differently; it is that they don’t feel safe enough to experience life differently.

Therefore, the reason that they haven’t able to make progress, or have only made a certain amount, will be due to the fact that going further will be seen as something that would put their very survival at risk. After becoming aware of this, they may struggle to understand what is going on.

An Irrational Outlook

They might come to believe that there is no reason for them to see life in this way, especially as they are a grown adult who lives in a relatively safe country. This fear will then be coming from a belief that has no basis in reality.

By bringing this belief out into the light and questioning it, they may find that its hold on them starts to diminish. At the same time, it might not be this easy and they could find that this belief is hard to change.

Going Deeper

Now, while their conscious mind might believe that there is no reason for them to have a fear of being seen, their unconscious mind will have a very different view. To this part of them, it won’t be safe enough for them to be seen; it won’t just be seen as something that they belief.

What took place during their early years may have played a big part when it comes to how this part of them perceives reality. This may have been a time in their life when it wasn’t safe for them to be seen.

Hiding Means Surviving

When they were a child, they may have had to hide themselves and to put on an act. If they expressed who they were, they may have been rejected and/or abandoned, and they may have been harmed.

Additionally, the environment where they lived may have been so dysfunctional that they had to physically hide to avoid being harmed. This might not have stopped them from being harmed, but it may have minimised the damage that was done.

The Body Remembers

This stage of their life would have been a time when they experienced a lot of trauma. There would have been the so-called small-t traumas and there would have been a lot of the so-called big-t traumas too.

The years would have passed, causing their conscious mind to forget about what happened, but their unconscious mind will have remembered what took place. This part of them will be in control their life.


Taking this into account, it will be essential for one to resolve the trauma that is being held in their body. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

As they start to settle down and begin to feel as though it is safe enough for them to be seen, their life will change. This is something that will take patience and persistence.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.