Stop and Go

The shock and disbelief that comes with grief serves a useful purpose. It's God's way of stopping us in our tracks. It's our body's way of saying hold on, don't move. Something important is happening here.

Sometimes, when something's too painful to face, we override the body's system and go into overdrive. We "lose" ourselves in work. When we don't want to remember, we speed up. When we don't want to hurt, we rush around in a frenzy.

We have to keep busy, we tell ourselves, but secretly we mean to outrun this thing. But grief is a persistent stalker, dogging us every step of the way, and it always catches up with us.

In his book, Stopping: How To Be Still When You Have To Keep Going, Dr. David Kunditz writes: "The ultimate purpose of stopping is to ensure that when we do go, we go in the direction that we want, and that we are not just reacting to the pace of our lives, but choosing, moment to moment, what's best. The ultimate reason for stopping is going."

Stopping allows time for spiritual growth. Faith comes to us in quiet moments. The soul grows in stillness.

No one heals on the run. Stop. Stand still. Do nothing. Stare out of the window, gaze at the sky. Embrace the moment. Be idle for a moment, an hour, or a day. Consider going on a retreat or vacation. Play hooky from work. Stop, so you can go.