Many people you may think are difficult are really just different. Their personalities and behavioral styles may clash with yours. Once you learn to identify others’ styles—and honestly assess your own—you can figure out why you’re having a problem with a particular
type of person.

Psychologists tell us that there are four basic behavioral styles. Each has positive aspects, which flourish in a supportive, encouraging environment. But paradoxically, it’s those very positive aspects that become limitations under stress.

Four basic styles are:
• Extrovert. This is a person who is open, straightforward, outgoing and risk-oriented—a gregarious sales type. Extroverts can be very persuasive; but when they overdo it, they become aggressive, pushy, sarcastic and manipulative.

• Controller. This is the traditional, bottom-line, results-oriented person who is very direct with people— a top-executive type. When controllers overdo their strengths, they become overly controlling, pushy, demanding, stubborn, rigid and hardheaded.

• People-pleaser. This is the peacemaker, harmonizer— a gregarious, approachable, caring type. But people-pleasers can become so interested in the happiness of others that they always give in and always say yes, even when they mean no. The pleasers won’t say anything to defend themselves. Instead, they become time bombs—storing negative feelings and carrying them around until, at some
point, they blow up. The blowup is usually so unexpected that it’s bewildering to the target.

• Meticulous. This is an extremely cautious person who is reserved, avoids taking risks and wants things done perfectly. When pushed, meticulous types become avoiders; they avoid tasks and people and fail to get things done. People with different behavior styles often find it hard to work together. That’s the reason why you may be able to work easily with some people, but you find
others too intimidating, guilt-provoking or infuriating to deal with.

Once you make the effort, you’ll begin to notice what makes people tick. You’ll get flashes of insight into why people act differently depending on the situation and the people involved. Your people skills will snowball. Personal growth is important in all of life’s stages. You need to keep growing to deal effectively with others.

For more information on how to overcome difficult people and situations, visit

Author's Bio: 

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