“Can You Help People Who Live in Fear?”

I know of an older woman that is getting up in age and needs some help doing the cleaning around the house. Yet when help arrives she doesn’t want help.

This older woman’s son came to visit and his mother told him that she was having a very hard time getting around now that she needs a walker. And that she didn’t have the strength to clean the house or cook meals. And her son was very conce
ed about this mother and wanted to make sure his mom had a good situation for the last few years of her life.

So her son talked to his mother about going to an assisted living situation… where she could have her own apartment and they would clean and bring her meals and plus she could cook when she wanted too. And she would have lots of other people around her to talk too. And the mother agreed that assisted living would be a great idea for her now… because she had terrible knee and shoulder pain her mobility is very limited.

Thus the son decided to, first of all, have a cleaning lady come to his mother’s house and help his mother with the cleaning of the bathrooms and the floors. But his mother refused to allow the cleaning lady into the house and was afraid of anyone new around the house. So the house was not cleaned. And when the son talked to his mother again she changed her mind about assisted living and didn’t want to change her living situation. Even though the house is in terrible condition and she really needs help.

So what is a person supposed to do? Every time the mother becomes fearful she changes her mind… this has been going on for 40 years or more. You can’t force someone to do something.

Sometimes the only thing we can do with people who live in fear is to talk to them… and listen to them… and pray for them and their situation. And most of all, we can’t allow the situation to overcome us… we can get wrapped up in the situation… or it will drive us crazy.

Sometimes all we can do is watch, pray, and hope for the best… and be there for people the best way we can.

Many Blessings to Everyone!

Dr. Paul Haider