It is very important to realise the ramifications of trying to stay friends with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. If we learn how to love and honour yourself, we don’ tallow abusers to stay in our life. There is nothing healthy is continuing relationships with people who are capable of committing the narcissistic behaviours of pathological lying, malicious vengeful acts and refusing to be accountability for poor behaviour. A narcissistic personality does not have the ability to have remorse, reform or be trusted – and they always re-offend.

‘Altruistic’ narcissists are famous for keeping previous partners as friends. This narcissistic personality is skilled at behaving like Mr or Ms Wonderful and keeping exes on tow. As with all narcissistic behaviour this is to ensure narcissistic supply. The narcissistic personality continually needs to feed his or her False Self with energy, attention, sympathy, significance and / or sex.

It is very common for ex partners of a narcissistic personality to still be hooked, still be living in hope, and have’ forgotten’ the pathological behaviour, soaking up all the wonderful favours, support and hope – wishing that a relationship can be reignited with the narcissistic personality.

An individual with narcissistic personality disorder knows how to keep people hooked, knows his or her reputation looks wonderful as a result of keeping friends with exes, and has an incredible ability of keeping them all separated from each other – especially from the current partner – in order to manipulate them for attention, sympathy, compliments, resources and often sex.

Little do these ‘friends’ of the narcissist know they are simply being used for the narcissist’s egoist needs – there is no true ‘caring’ relationship, no possibility of a future healthy love relationship, and the narcissist is more than likely using them as malicious payback weapon against his or her current partner.

For the ‘friend’ wounds are simply going to be re-opened again. The narcissistic individual has no compassion, remorse or conscience for what he or she is doing. If a ‘committed’ intimate relationship is reactivated with the narcissist – the person will go from being the friend ‘treated respectfully’ into being substantially abused again. Nothing has changed. The cycle of idealising and devaluing will repeat.

There is also a significant danger that the current partner who the narcissistic personality is smearing is still involved in an on and off relationship with the narcissist. If this relationship gets reactivated (before the inevitable next breakup) the ‘friend’ may be dumped as if he or she never existed.

Point blank there is no upside in continuing a relationship on any level with an individual with narcissistic personality disorder – because all it brings is deceit, being used as narcissistic supply and a shredding of self-worth and self-value.

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