CHANGE YOUR FOCUS - CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Having traveled the road from - being born into poverty - to becoming a millionaire (the first time) – to going broke – to becoming a millionaire (the second time), to going broke, to becoming a billionaire (yeah, that one started with a “B”) - to going broke – to becoming a millionaire (the third time) – I’ve learned some things about success and failure. I have learned the secret of overcoming failure: We have to OVERCOME our calamity before we can BECOME SUCCESSFUL. We can’t become successful while still living in the negative side of our tragedy, loss, defeat or failure. So how do we do that? Very simply by understanding the process. I have learned that there are three distinct stages in the journey from failure to success. I have also learned that a person has to move through all three stages each time they suffer a tragedy, loss, defeat or failure. And, I have also learned that the pace with which you move through these three stages is entirely of your own choosingnnTHREE STAGES:nn1. In the first stage we view the calamity from the perspective of “what I lost - as a result of what happened”. This is Stage 1. The blame and complain stage.nn2. In the second stage we view the calamity from the perspective of “what do I still have – in spite of what happened”. This is Stage 2. The assessment and acceptance stage.nn3. In the third stage we view the calamity from the perspective of “what have I gained – because of what happened”. This is Stage 3. The appreciation and relegation stage.nnnWe all know what appreciation is. Relegation is when we are able to assign an event or an experience to a very small place in our memory bank. Right now, each of us can think of some NEGATIVE thing that happened in our past and at that moment we thought the world had come to an end. Whether it was the loss of a jobnnThe death of a loved onennThe ending of a relationshipnnThe failure of a business.nnnRemember the anxiety, the fear, the anger, the depression & even the hopelessness that we created in our own mind – because of how we viewed the “fact” that happened. With the passage of time, and as the pain and trauma began to subside – we moved to Stage 2 – and began to acknowledge what we still had - in spite of what happened. And finally, the day came that we were able to look back at what was once viewed as a tragedy, loss, defeat or failure and see what we had gained because of what happened. It was then, that we were able to relegate that incident – to a small place in our memory bank. How did it go from so important – to so unimportant? What is different today versus the day that the event occurred? THE FACT DIDN’T CHANGE: WE DID LOSE THE JOB – that’s still a factnnWE DID EXPERIENCE THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE – that’s still a factnnTHE RELATIONSHIP DID END – that’s still a fact. THE BUSINESS DID FAIL – that’s still a fact.nnnThose things are all “FACTS” and facts don’t change...so what did change? ONLY ONE THING CHANGED: We changed the way we viewed the “fact”. Today – we view it clearly, we see the event – the “fact” for what it really was – not what we thought it was. Since we all know this phenomenon happens. Wouldn’t it then be better to accelerate the process? Of course it would. Life is short. Why should we spend so much of our life, consumed with a problem – when perhaps we could get over the same problem in ½ the time. We began to feel better about the “fact” as soon as we started to look at the situation differently. WE DON’T HAVE TO DENY THE FACTS – NOR – DO WE HAVE TO CHANGE ANY OF THE FACTS THAT OCCURRED – WE JUST NEED TO VIEW THEM DIFFERENTLY. When something bad happens, we shouldn’t sit back and wait for the inevitable passage of time to “get over it”. We instead, should speed up the process by immediately getting out of Stage 1, where we are blaming someone – and get to stage 2, where we recognize what we “still have” in spite of what happened. If we do that, we will quickly find our self at Stage 3. By making a conscious effort we can speed up the process and get back to becoming a success much more quickly.