Childhood Memories

On Facebook there is a post going around where some people are changing their profile pictures to 80’s cartoon characters. This is to help others to be aware of child abuse. I was one of them because I thought what a great way to spread awareness, and a really fun idea which I am sure brought up a lot of childhood memories. Then the thought occurred to me, how many homes throughout the world have been affected by some form of abuse? There are many homes and families where there is a history as far back and further back then you can possibly imagine. Those deep, dark, family, “secrets” that “we don’t talk about!”
Truth be told if they were talked about a lot of people would have gone to jail, lives would have been changed, and long cycles would have been broken. The question is now put before us do we sit back and let it continue? The answer to that question is emphatically, NO. I can tell you that in my own family growing up there were those family secrets that nobody talks about, until somebody does.
During my adolescence I became aware of the “secrets” of my family ancestors, a history of incest and abuse. Many family members ended up on antidepressants some even attempted and did commit suicide. The belief system was women were meant to please the men, and that women/girls were merely objects for man’s pleasure and learning.
I also grew up with the belief that if I made wrong choices that God would punish me and not love me and that he would turn away from me. I had very low self worth for most of my life. I absorbed those lies/untruths that I had come to believe myself for a long time; I also thought that some other person could decide my value or worth. I am not saying that my childhood was filled with abuse; I have very loving parents who raised us the best they knew how.
We did however have a Grandfather who could be a little too friendly. There were some inappropriate things said and done, things that are not what you would call normal. My mom and my aunt were both sexually abused. For the most part though, my sisters and I had a really fun childhood. We were very creative and had a lot of fun together singing, dancing, making up plays and skits, pretending we were Charlie’s Angels or the Mandrell Sisters.
I bring this up because we have a choice, either allow things and situations that happened to us in childhood control or dictate who we are, or who we are to become, or to learn who we really are from a higher place, from one who knows us more than we even know our selves and who loves us unconditionally. As I said before I believed that if I was not perfect and did not “do” things perfect, God would punish me and he would remove himself from my presence. I have come to know that this is entirely untrue. He is always with us; we are the ones that block ourselves from him feeling unworthy of his Love and as though he will punish us. He is always there just waiting for us and his Love for us is truly unconditional. I am choosing not to let my past define who I truly am. You see what we do and the choices we make are not who we truly are! We are so much more!! This is my story, my healing and, Just One Woman’s Perception!