Christian Codependency: 7 Signs You Are A Christian Codependent

Are you struggling with Christian codependency? These 7 signs will help you to decide whether you are a Christian codependent or not. When we are being "codependent" it means we have an unhealthy way of reacting to a problem in a person close to us or a pattern of coping with life that is unhealthy.

1. Do you caretake others? Caretaking means that you take care of other people and do things for them that they should do for themselves. It is healthy to caretake for people when they are truly unable to care for themselves such as illness or age; otherwise, it is healthy to let people take care of themselves (Galatians 6:5).

2. Do you obsess over others? You obsess when you can't get your mind and focus off another person. Whether it is a problem you want to fix, an attempt to try to change the person, or constant worry, obsession takes your mind away from living your life (2 Corinthians 10:5).

3. Do you ignore your own needs? Do you ignore your own needs by repeatedly putting others' needs before yours? The belief that God wants you to always put others before yourself is a misunderstanding of Scripture. God expects you to take care of yourself (Ephesians 5:29) and then balance caring for others with caring for yourself (Philippians 2:4).

4. Do you feel responsible for others? Codependents typically feel responsible for other people's choices, feelings, and needs. You feel responsible when you feel it is your fault that someone feels bad, suffers consequences, or doesn't have needs met. You aren't responsible for others; they are responsible for themselves before God and will give an account of their choices (Romans 14:12).

5. Do you feel guilty? Feelings of guilt typically surface for codependents when they tell people no, take care of themselves, or have negative reactions from other people. Guilt is misplaced when you feel bad about things that aren't wrong (James 4:17). Taking care of yourself in relationships is the right thing to do.

6. Do you feel resentful? Giving too much and tolerating too much result in codependents feeling angry and resentful toward the people they are sacrificing for. The resentment comes from feeling there are no other options, which isn't true. It is a choice to give too much and codependents need to recognize that the choice to give comes from their own insecurity and need to please (2 Corinthians 9:7).

7. Do you control people, places, and things? The need to control comes from the belief that things have to be a certain way for them to be okay. Control manifests in the many attempts to nag, coerce, threaten, plead, beg, and manipulate to get the other person to change. Control is an illusion. Admitting powerlessness over others actually gives codependents the power to live their own lives (Romans 8:28).

If you answered yes to some or all of these 7 signs, then you are a codependent, and if you are a Christian, then you are a Christian codependent. The first thing you must do to change is to identify the problem. God doesn't expect you to be codependent. He wants you to live your life fully and allow others to live their own lives. He will help you to change.