Christians and Divorce - 5 Tips to Get Your Ex-Spouse Out of Your Head
Written by Karla Downing
Are you a Christian going through a divorce? Are you struggling with getting your mind off your spouse? Do you find yourself thinking about your spouse obsessively trying to figure out what he/she is doing and thinking? Do you wonder what your spouse thinks about you? Do you want to make your spouse see your point of view? Do you think more about your spouse than yourself? If you answered yes, it is time to take your focus off your ex and put it onto yourself. These tips will help you do that:
1. Redirect your mind when you find yourself thinking about him/her. When your mind wanders onto him/her, put it back to the present and focus on what is in front of you. Get busy. Do something-anything-wash dishes, sweep, cook, clean a drawer, run, call someone, put on music, or get online. Keep your mind and hands busy with other things.
2. Convince yourself that it is best that you don't know the details of what is going on in your ex's life. Don't ask your children, family, and friends questions about what your ex is doing. Don't do anything purposefully to find out.
3. Don't imagine your ex with his new girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't fall for the lie that his/her life is going to perfect with the new person. Your ex is the same; after the newness and excitement of the relationship ends, the same problems will reappear with the new partner.
4. Change the environment so you aren't reminded of your spouse. You might not be able to move, but you can do a lot of little things to make the environment yours.
5. Give up your desire to help, change, or convince your spouse of the truth as you see it about your marriage. If you could have agreed and understood each other, you wouldn't be divorced. Instead, turn your ex over to God to deal with.
God wants Christians in divorce to take their thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and to choose what they think about (Philippians 4:8). With His help, you can do that by applying these 5 tips to get your ex-spouse out of your head.
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