"Cloned" Children

The social behavior which we systematically reproduce from generation to generation interests me a great deal. When we are born, an adult takes charge of us, because, first, as a species which is not self-sufficient we cannot survive without someone caring for us in the first years of life, and also because we need to be loved in order to become strong and grow. When I speak of an adult, I do not necessarily refer to a biological mother or father. Instead, I am speaking of any individual who is responsible for raising and educating a baby, child or adolescent. There are so many of us who have been raised by a guardian.

All of us want to be the best parents and set the best example. We know that it is impossible to be perfect and so, within our imperfection, we think that providing the best for our offspring means turning them into replicas of ourselves. I know that it is unconscious most of the time and I am not judging. But it is not fair that our children have to absorb and replicate our own energy, with the good and bad that this implies. The time has come for us to face up to the fact that we cannot continue to "impose ourselves" on the younger generation.

Cloning is a controversial concept nowadays. It refers to making an identical copy of molecules, cells or other organisms on the basis of DNA. As such, it has to do with a biological process or to be more specific, a genetic one. But why is there so little talk of social or psychological cloning? Yes, that which we all practice when, for the sake of our children, we teach them to be like us and not like themselves.

For many years, I made the big mistake of being an over-protective mother, just as my mother had been with me. Without realizing it, I followed the same pattern which had made me suffer so much and against which I rebelled. It was simply that I had been raised that way and so I would raise my children in turn! Later, I changed my mind, thanks to a great transformation of my values that took place some years ago. That made me understand that it wasn't fair that my children weren't being given the opportunity to become what they wanted to be when their wishes were different or opposed to mine.

Nowadays I have accepted that I am a guide in the life of my children, no more, and I only assume that role when they ask me to. Of course, I am speaking of children who are adolescents or young adults, but my point is that from the time children are young, we should begin to focus on this role of the guide who imposes no obligations, the unconditional friend and unlicensed teacher who only "shows" the path to be followed and allows youngsters to make their own choice and experience the results on their own.

It is incredible to hear the way most parents speak all the time: "I want my child to be this or that," "My child is going to study medicine and become a doctor or an engineer like his dad," "So long as you live under my roof, you will do what I say," "I don't want my child to suffer the same things I suffered from." Well, you can easily add to the list.

As I said before, we are only that kind of mother or father because that was the pattern we learned. But it does not have to remain that way. We can change it, above all when it is obvious that the youth of today (a generalization, I admit) are a proof that our "old way" of educating is not creating happier or more intelligent adults, and least of all, more loving ones... and so I ask myself, isn't it our duty to try to create a better society than the past and present ones?

There has been too much imposition in the world. Why don't we begin to dismantle that imposition, the one that we have the capacity to eradicate, on an individual level, in our own homes? Why don't we begin to act like the kind of father or mother who serves as the guide and friend who encourages their children to follow their inner promptings? Every child has his or her own unique inner rhythm. Let us respect it, let us show them how to bring it to life, turn it into music, because, deep in our hearts, we know our own music is meant for our own dance, and that that of our children is something we should only observe and delight in.

Until next time and don't forget to be love,