What is your pattern of approaching new life experiences?

Do you welcome them with open arms and a smile and embrace the support and love in your life?

Or do you hesitate and look for obstacles and reasons for why something new will not work for you or hesitate to work with others to bring a new experience to a fruitful place?

All of us have comfort zones, but researchers find that stretching past comfortable zones trains us to:

1. Trust more fully and develop deeper levels of faith in ourselves and others.

2. Deepen relationships by acting as a co-creator of experiences by allowing ourselves to embrace the idea that we are interconnected. When we focus on that interconnectivity, we can leave our own egoic fears and perceptions to the side, to hear, see and experience the truth of others which allows us to align energies to create experiences together. Instead of “how will this best serve me,” the thought patterns become, “How will this best serve our common desires and needs?”

3. Create new grooves in our brains. Recent research shows that breaking habitual routines that do not serve us is not about getting rid of old brain grooves, but about forming new ones–giving our thought patterns new roads on which travel versus spending time trying to deprogram old patterns.

Think about that. Through the seventies and eighties, people were focused on the negative–undoing messages, programming and patterns. In the nineties, people began to discover that it’s not necessary to undo the impact of old experiences–that we can move forward in growth by simply and consciously choosing not to approach experience the same way because it is “what I am used to.” So ask yourself, “How many times am I engaging behaviors that are new and out of my pattern, and how many times do I engage certain behaviors that are coming from the place of ‘This is just what I usually do.’?”

4. Helps us to reduce stress by expanding comfort zones since stress is often the result of not having the internal resources to meet the unexpected. Yet, when we are used to welcoming the unexpected, we tend to be less reactive and stressed.

Affirmations can play an important role in expanding your capacity to co-create fulfilling new experiences.

Examples of affirmations include:

* This relationship is mutually beneficial.
* I am with a partner who is supportive, loving and works with me to co-create a wonderful life.
* This relationship builds my strengths and allows me to grow my areas of challenge as I inspire my partner to do the same.
* In this partnership or relationship, we create an experience that optimizes joy, profits, or business expansion for each one of us.

You can also phrase affirmations in terms of what will come:

* I will engage a relationship that nourishes me and makes me smile, just as I nourish and make another smile.
* I will partner with vibrant businesses and people.
* I will meet a loving and supportive partner where we meet each other’s needs fully and joyfully.

By stating the affirmations and sharing them, it allows others to participate in this co-creation with you–to explore if their desires are aligned with what you wish to co-create. If you discover areas, where there is a mismatch between what you desire and what another person desires as co-creation, it does not mean you cannot co-create together, but it simply means there is a need to explore how to transform and align those areas that are not in harmony each other’s needs and desires.

In areas where they are not matching your affirmations, you can ask yourself, “How willing am I to put in the hard work to transform those areas–and how willing is the other person or company willing to do the same?” Both people must be equally committed in order for transformation and alignment to occur.

Of course, some people have fears and insecurities such that if they hear affirmations about what you hope to create and they do not perceive they are in the space to manifest those things, they quickly shut down, give up, or hear the expression of those desires and vision as a criticism of all the things they are not. Thus, they miss out an opportunity to be truly be open to stretching, growing and creating something really exciting and deep with others.

How Do You Co-Create with Others?

1. Trust other people. Let yourself be vulnerable to share candidly what your needs, desires and hopes are. Be real about your intentions.

2. Leave the perfectionist schema to the side. Situations or relationships do not have to be perfect in order to fulfill needs–they simply need to have the potential fulfill those needs and the commtiment of all parties to work diligently to co-creating an experience that works for all, not all of the time, but a significant portion of the time.

3. Give people the positive benefit of the doubt–assuming the best intentions and meanings in what others express instead of the worst. Positive projection furthers co-creation because it assumes that people are being nonjudgmental, open, willing to explore, listen and hear truths, and share candidly. On the other hand, negative projections assume that people are being judgmental, closed, not open to seeing many facets of situations or people, and lacking in transparency. Thus, negative projections are counterproductive to the process of co-creating prosperous experiences.

So next time you are faced with a new life experience, meet each new breath with a commitment to affirming and sharing your desires in a nonjudgmental way, leaving openness to stretch out of comfort zones to transform aspects of experience into a space more closely aligned with your intentions and affirmations. Trust that great rewards come from pushing past fears and that initial discomfort with something new.

Author's Bio: 

Kay Hutchinson, CAMQ, CAMT is an advanced practitioner of acupressure, medical qi gong and Chinese custom herbal medicine. Visit the Aiki Healing virtual studio for an audio version of this article complete with bonus meditation: http://www.aikihealing.com/qigongstudio.php