Recap
So, to recap Part One, we discussed our history as women as it relates to our relationship with men and how up until the middle to late 20th century we didn’t have laws to protect us from abuses. Women, along with children, were property of men. Men could abuse us with no consequences. We also discussed codependency and what it means as it relates to our discussion here. We are going to stick with our understanding of codependency as a system of distortions that exists on a continuum. Codependents learn personality traits that interfere with knowing one’s self and others. The people pleasing aspect of codependency might drive the ignoring of who we are trying to please.

The focus of wanting others approval may keep us from acknowledging there might be abusive behavior coming from the person whose approval we want. The need for harmony might prevent us from realizing we may be enabling abusive behavior. Or any combination of the above. We don’t have the tools to deal with abusive behavior, so this also drives us to avoid bringing it to consciousness. And we probably have a history of being abused or exploited so it feels familiar. We add these traits to our history of being property which taught us to be compliant, obey, no rights, no voice, serve, be the extension of the man and we are completely groomed and ready for sexual abuse.

Consequences of These Two Paradigms!
Compliance
Service to Abusers
No voice
No Rights
Endure Abuse
Poor self-esteem
Please others at all cost

Continue reading here: https://www.recovery.org/pro/articles/metoo-and-codependency-part-2/

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Anne Brown PhD, RN of Sausalito, California, formerly from Aspen, Colorado is a psychotherapist, speaker, coach, and the author of Backbone Power: The Science of Saying No. For over twenty years she served as the trusted advocate and advisor to Influential Corporate leaders, Trial Attorneys, Athletes, Leaders, Physicians and their families whose connections extended far beyond Aspen, Colorado.

Combining her own professional experience with that of her no-nonsense mentor, the former Chilean Minister of Finance, political prisoner of Pinochet and corporate business consultant, Dr. Fernando Flores, Brown used a methodology that helped people reveal their blindness’s and learn to speak authentically thereby decreasing their suffering and increasing their dignity and authenticity. Brown has been described by one client as “having a very caring way of going for the jugular.”

Brown is a graduate of the University of Virginia, BS in Nursing; Boston University, MS in Psychiatric-Mental Health in Nursing; and International University, PhD in Addiction Studies. In 1997 Brown also reached a personal goal of obtaining her Black Belt in Soo Bahk Do.

You can contact Dr. Anne Brown through her website: www.BackbonePower.com