Coming Out? It's About Time!

Coming out to family and friends is one of the most major struggles that gays, lesbians and transgendered individuals have to deal with. A lot of factors actually motivate their decision to come out or simply “hide in the closet”. Some come out the moment they realize and accept who and what they really are; these individuals usually come from a socially accepting family who will surely support and respect their sexual orientation.But, there are others who are not as lucky-- they come from a family that is not as accepting, causing them to hide their true sexuality even when they don’t have to.

One never knows for sure what the reactions of other people will be, which makes coming out very difficult—be it to friends, colleagues and loved ones. Others may find it easier to accept such news; some will surely feel betrayed because they thought all along that you were straight. At any rate, coming out to people that one cares about is always hard; there is always the fear that friends and loved ones will suddenly turn their backs or disown you. When one makes the decision to finally come out, it is but normal to have nerve-wracking emotions. However, this can be avoided somewhat with a little preparation, which can make the coming out a success.

It is very important to plan ahead before blurting out that you’re gay (or lesbian/transgender). Yes, you’re very sure that your family loves you—it’s just that you’re not a 100% sure of what their reactions will be after you made the big announcement. Being prepared in advance of what you are going to say can give you more confidence, and will show family and friends through your words that this is what you need to be happy. By showing them that this is not just a whim, they will be inclined to be careful before saying something they might regret in the future.

What you are going to tell them is important—HOW you tell them is more important. Gathering the whole family to sit everyone down is not necessary. In fact, there is no need to tell everyone all at the same time. It would be wise to tell first the person you think can take the news best, and then go from there. Of course, if you want to get it over and be done with, you can always do so. After all, it’s your decision and your life. It may be hard to tell someone face to face because of the instant reactions that can sometimes be harsh.

There is always a chance that a loved one can say things that could seriously harm your relationship; if you want to avoid this, consider other methods of coming out to them. Written words are always effective, so writing down your thoughts will give you time to choose the words that best express your feelings. The receiver will also have time for the news to sink in, rather than immediately reacting when they give you a call or try to speak to you. Again, whether you do this in person or through writing is your decision, although it is a sensible alternative that you can make use of if it makes you comfortable.

Unless you have been flaunting your sexuality for some time now, your friends and family will surely be shocked with the news of your coming out. This is normal, so allow them to process what you have just told them. Although homosexuality is widely accepted these days, there are still people and social circles who think of it as taboo. The acceptance of loved ones is vital, but the support from local groups is definitely invaluable. These groups aim to give an individual answers to perplexing questions. Look around your area or in the internet to gain access to these support groups.