Common Sense Texting in the Dating World

Last week one of our Single Atlanta clients called and said she had decided not to meet the next match we had put together for her. "What? Why not? He's an incredible guy and we are so excited for you to meet him", was our response. Well it turns out that this very bright guy has made a poor impression by sending lots and lots of text messages before ever setting up a meeting. It has absolutely turned off this adorable girl and she doesn't want to meet him now.

As a Matchmaker I have the incredible opportunity to observe the roles that new technologies, like text messaging, have in dating. Texting is growing in popularity in every age group and is in some cases becoming a primary method of communication. In this overly wired world I will always believe that a human connection is what we are all so desperately seeking and missing these days. A heart-felt phone call will never go out of style.

Texting has it's positive and powerful points when it comes to dating, but as seen in the above story, it can also cause issues before you even get to say hello.

In the dating arena I believe that texting is a great tool to communicate short and simple messages, and even flirt without the complications that come with a phone call. For example, texting is a terrific format for a women to say "thank you" for a wonderful date. She doesn't have to risk making a phone call and coming across as "too available". After all we know that you guys like a challenge, so a simple text is courteous and sends a definite signal that you are interested in seeing him again.

Guys if you are unsure about whether she is interested in seeing you again, you can use a text message after a date to test the waters. Sending a text telling her that you enjoyed her company and wanted to know if she'd like to get together again is so much easier than an awkward phone call, especially if you are a bit reserved or shy.

A second date should never be planned or asked for by text. Once you've connected with the complimentary post-date thank you text, use the old telephone to make your next move. Remember guys, at the end of the day technology is amazing but we still believe that you are our knight in shining amour, and you'll need to be able to sweep us off our feet in person.

Texting can be a double edged sword and can work against you if you don't use some common sense when it comes to dating and courting a potential relationship. You'd think that it would be pretty obvious about which text habits to avoid but I often hear stories about someone who seems to be crossing the line in a number of areas. Here are a couple of good texting reminders.

1. Texting is inherently impersonal so if you notice that you are spending too much time via text you are in danger of ending up alone and in a relationship with your phone. This behavior can be interpreted as being overanxious or even creepy.

2. Try to avoid too steamy, overly sexual or extremely romantic remarks early on. As the relationship develops you can increase your text communication to plan things and ultimately send love messages. And P.S. never send a compromising nude photo of yourself, this is a crazy idea and could be embarrassing or dangerous!

3. Texting or keeping your phone out while on a date is simply bad manners.

4. Use texting for playful, flirtatious and quick hellos, not long conversations detailing your every move and especially not anything that might involve emotionally charged content.

At the end of the day texting allows someone to keep in touch, but face to face meetings are where real relationships develop.