Communicate to Stand Out- II

Communicate to Stand Out- II
Dr Manideepa Patnaik
Dr Manideepa Patnaik
Editor in Chief at http://www.ubiqusgroup.com/ijmp
Independent trainer on writing at http://sites.google.com/site/awcourse

In part I of this article we discussed the six minimum phases that are operative in the speaker’s mind and the receiver’s mind for the communication to effective. Those phases have been laid down by the scientists who have studied human mind to know how communication happens. Due to codification of these phases, it becomes easier for us to diagnose when and why communication fails.
We discussed in the previous article that communication fails largely due to improper encoding and decoding of the message. Encoding is the choice of the sender that he makes to give a ceratin shape or form to the message and decoding is the choice of the receiver that he makes to understand and absorb the message with proper light.

It important to note that communication happens at such a speed that it gets difficult to understand how the phases are at work. Communication happens at the speed of light at times. When a mosquito bites, our hand goes straight on to that spot to smash the mosquito without really thinking that killing the mosquitoes will be the best way to communicate to all mosquitoes that they should not bite humans. We just do it. Animals probably do not.
An infant cries when he feels hungry or when he needs burping. It’s difficult to say that he really goes through a process of encoding this message consciously. These phases of communication are very normal, quite inbuilt and pretty physiologically conditioned. All living beings are genetically endowed to go through the phases of communication at all the levels of consciousness. I want to tell you to be aware of the conscious aspect of communicating. Not the automatic ones.
Communication is very complex. Even sky becomes red before the onset of a storm. The sky clearly does not have a mind to encode that storm should be signaled by sending out red alerts. But it does and we humans do receive that signal and decode it wel. In this case, the sky is the sender and whoever understands the message is the receiver and the receiver becomes the sender to other receivers who are not a part of the sky, of course. Thus, communication process and the entire sender and receiver concept along with the entire process can get complicated with numerous examples.

At a therapeutic level, we need to understand communication as a conscious process that makes survival possible and comfortable if done properly. All the maladjusted persons are those who do not communicate at a conscious level. They ignore the two most important phases of communication, that is encoding and decoding. These people are lazy and they take other people for granted. Even as mature adults, they think, communication happens the way an infant cries out for food or burping or the way sky sends out red alert. They do not care about the emotions and the skill sets of the receiver who they are communicating with.

A typical example of communication failure affecting career prospects of both the sender as well as the receiver can be extracted from a classroom situation in which a teacher makes his class lecture full of bombastic words and abstractions to make his class lecture sound good to himself , whereas the students he is teaching are far away from understanding it. Thus students fail and the result either calls the teacher a bad teacher or students poor students. The same teacher may be an excellent teacher for some other students and the same students can excel under some other teacher. Another typical example comes from marriages where the spouse decides to divorce his wife or go for illegitimate affairs due to failure to meet expectation from his spouse, who has given birth to seven or eight children one after the other every year, to give him romantic evenings every evening after he gets back from work. This guy does not realize that the bright woman has been keeping extremely busy with all her kids ranging from age seven or eight to age one really needs a helping hand from her spouse at the end of the day so that she can take some rest or cook something decent at a level of comfort much before she feels at ease to give the spouse a romantic evening. The expectation to get a romantic evening must arise when both the partners are at ease. When a man works for 18hours under sacking pressure in a time of recession or a bright woman foregoes her career to raise kids and never gets any help from her partner regarding that matter, there the a human cannot work like a machine to give physical gratification to the other. The third typical example comes from a business situation where you decide to sack your sales manager , expecting your underperforming sales manager to increase sales every week, without understanding that he or she really needs to undergo a training session or that person may be competent enough to take up some other task. A person who may be very bad at sales can be very good at sales planning measures. Here you decide to sack the underperforming sales manager because you did not try to decode what he is best at in the area of sales and the sales manager has not been able to help to decode his competence because he has not been able to encode how to impress upon you in which area of sales, he can have an asset value.
There are people who love their pets like crazy but they have never loved their spouses, friends, colleagues or anyone who they could have lived with. How does this happen? How can a human take great care of a pet cat or a pet dog that could never take care of any human? This happens because when you keep a dog or cat, you are more at a giving end and not at a receiving end. Just the looks and the gestures you get from your pet make you very happy and satisfied. But from humans, who could have taken care of you, you had other expectations due to communication failures. Your cats and your dogs can never take care of you in terms of cooking for you if you are ailing, or buying you medicines. You have gotten this phase of life not always because you were a victim of nasty politics of dirty game, but mostly because you were lazy, crazy, fuzzy and hazy enough with your communication skills which always led to undue expectations and unfulfillment of the same. This happens when you only become a sender who transmits the messages without encoding and a receiver who sends feedback without decoding.

You become an unhappy, unsuccessful individual in life who deserves animals and plants to keep sanity. If you have to communicate to stand out in the crowd of relationships every human has, if you want to communicate to be very happy with life, then please remember that – as mature humans- it’s you who has to understand that talking and writing, sitting and standing, keeping silence and being numb should all happen decisively. Always try to figure out the cause of your failure as a communication failure at some level if you want to stand out in career, relationships and life.
Please always remember that – we cannot not communicate. We always communicate. We communicate even when we are sleeping. Even when we get the smell of the flower we communicate. The flower may not gain anything as a sender here, but we gain as a receiver. A dog or a cat gives us a very loyal look all the time because we take care of it unconditionally. Love your spouse unconditionally too, your spouse will be there to give you a massage when you get a headache. See what your staff is best at and how he be the better before sacking him.
Nobody is useless. Bad communication is the only useless thing that creates all the mess everywhere. Nations get their allies based on the way they communicate and they get into wars based on the way they communicate. A simple graduate becomes a CEO based on the he communicates whereas an MBA from Harvard University can never find a job for he could never learn how to communicate. A very unchaste woman can be a very loving wife whereas a very chaste woman can become a victimized one. All happens for how you encode and decode the messages that you send out every time. How much you love your spouse does not matter. How well can you demonstrate your love matters. How much you know about business does not matter. How well can you bring profit matters. All these happen through effective communication.

To succeed in life, communicate well. To communicate well, you must always remember to encode and decode the messages well.
I will continue this discussion.