Communicating With Women - Listening Without Solving

If you’ve ever listened to two women talking to one another, you have probably heard a different style of communication than you’re used to. When two women communicate, they generally converse their thoughts without offering solutions. They basically want to vent certain thoughts or daily occurrences without feeling like they are in therapy. They are often not looking for solutions, but want someone to understand them.

Think about when you have had good conversations with women. Chances are that it wasn’t when you were trying to help them. Usually the best conversations men have with women are when you both have a certain connection or an understanding of each other. This is because women look to bond with those they communicate with. Think about when two women are gossiping about someone else. They are creating a bond together by talking about other people. Offering solutions to women you are communicating with only makes you look like you’re trying to be her superior, proving your higher intelligence. This is how men communicate and this is where many men fail when communicating with women. When men communicate, they often are looking to improve their superiority. This is also why men do not like to ask for directions. It makes them look less superior to the person they are asking directions from.

Women love to communicate and will usually include all the small details that men choose to leave out. This causes for longer story lines and drawn out discussions. So you want to learn how to shorten up the conversation? Try making her feel understood rather than fixing her problems. Show her that you can relate to what she is saying. I’ve noticed that when you convey an understanding of what she is talking about, she feels like she has communicated well. Try offering her some way of relaxing. “Hey, lets go out for dinner. It sounds like you’ve had a rough day and you deserve some relaxation!” The conversation will not only end sooner, but will end on a much happier note.