Communicating with our children and family is about relating in love, one on one, with each individual member of that family. From one point of view, we don’t choose our family of origin. From a higher perspective, we do. We choose our parents and our family; we choose those who will help us develop our character and values, and we do so for the challenge such education will offer us in our life journey.

Just as we have chosen, at a soul level, our parents and family, so have our children! We, as parents, may well take this opportunity to make sure we offer the best values and life opportunities we possibly can for our children. We can start by opening wide the lines of communication with our children and family members.

How do we open wide these lines of communication? Well, reflect on how you like to feel when someone communicates with you, verbally or in other more subtle ways. How do you like others to treat you or approach you when they want to connect? You like to feel the other person respects you and your ideas and that they love you just as you are, correct? Of course you like to feel respected and loved. And so does everyone, especially your spouse, children and other family members.

So communication within the family is about connecting at a significantly personal level. Communicating what? Whatever you want, but always vested in Love. Love in all its myriad aspects. Love accepts diversity and rejoices in differences. Usually in the family structure, we already share so much, and one of the deepest joys of family is celebrating not only our similarities, but also our differences. Rooted in the same soil of the emotional and physical ties we share, belonging to family offers our primary and most significant early identity.

So when we relate to our own children, in their family of origin, which we, as parents, are designing for them, our responsibility to love and accept each child just as they are, is of paramount importance. These little ones, innocent by nature and experience, deserve to grow up in an environment where they can feel free to express their imagination in any way they desire. Let them sing and act and run and speak and express themselves free of enforced restrictions and judgmental boundaries.

Children need guidance and seek direction, acceptance and encouragement from their parents. Responsible love that guides and teaches is a great gift we offer our children. They look to us for leadership and approval. Approval is another name for loving acceptance and joyful encouragement to become more and to develop their own unique personal character and strengths. It is our privilege as parents to offer this level of security and love to our children.

We can spend quality time with our children, teaching by loving example as best we can and doing fun activities together as a family. In your communications, make sure nothing is taboo. Children need to feel free to speak about anything with their parents, openly, and confident they will be heard and appreciated.

Children, just as we do ourselves, love to feel part of a unique and special team: family. This sense of belonging is vital to a child’s sense of personal worth and meaningful contribution. As our children see how we love and respect them unconditionally, they will learn how to do the same. They will learn tolerance, acceptance of difference, openness, self expression and above all, love. Hopefully they will, in later life, have many wonderful and happy memories of growing up in the family we have provided for them.

Author's Bio: 

Marie C. Barrett is an author, teacher and holistic spiritual life coach. Discover more life and relationship strategies at and see Marie's blog at