Conceited I'm Not

Recently I had a conversation with another coach and she said, “I don’t want to sound conceited, but I really am good at what I do.” It reminded me of the fact that so many coaches, consultants, and solopreneurs are afraid to toot their own horn, because they’re afraid of appearing conceited. I know that was true for me. The sad consequence is that these talented people aren’t visible to the people they can truly serve.

The truth is most of us were brought up with the idea that it wasn’t polite to brag about how great we were and so many of our talents went unacknowledged. There are several problems with this.

• First of all, when you hide your gifts, they don’t get used and that’s a real shame.

• Secondly, when no one knows about your talents, you don’t get appreciated for who you are and the gifts that you brought to this world.

• Thirdly, you tend to get lost in the crowd. No one is going to see or remember you if you don’t have something significant to share.

How do you overcome this dilemma? There is a fine line between bragging and authentically marketing your brilliances.

As Michael Port says in his book, “Book Yourself Solid,”
“Bragging is comparing yourself to others and proclaiming your superiority. Declaring your strengths, your skills, your expertise, and your ability to help is not bragging but expressing confidence in what your potential clients expect, want, and need to hear from you.”

When you stop thinking of sales as “sales,” and instead think of it as an opportunity to serve, your language can more authentically reflect that, and what you say about yourself and your work sounds more genuine. It starts from the inside---how you are “thinking” about your marketing.

Here are some tips for overcoming this dilemma:

• In order to share your gifts, you need to be clear on what they are. The best way to do that is to make a list of them. Really brainstorm on all the things you have to offer. You may have hidden talents that you don’t even know about. Once you are clear you have a better chance of bringing them forward in your business.

• Celebrate your talents and enjoy the appreciation. Ask your clients how you are helping them and what they are getting out of working with you. Ask associates what they are receiving from associating with you. Then take the time to allow yourself to feel appreciated. It really helps you gain confidence in what you are doing, and that makes you more effective in the marketplace.

• When you are building your business the last thing you want to happen is to get lost in the crowd. That’s why it’s important to claim your talents and talk about them in your marketing materials so you will stand out. What do you have to offer that will benefit your clients? You have to tell them because they can’t second-guess it.

Sharing your talents, abilities, and gifts is something that should be natural and appealing. Modesty takes a back seat when you are marketing yourself. Claim your brilliance and share it with the world. Your potential clients want to work with someone who is brave, confident, and authentic.