Confident vs Neediness - where is the line?

The current wisdom is that people are attracted to those who are confident in their demeanor. They know what they want and they go after it. They know with certainty who they are, what they're worth and that they are worthy. On the other hand, wisdom also holds that men are interested in the hunt and the pursuit of women. They like it when women need them and desire them.

So where is the line between being a confident woman and one who relies on her man so much that she can be called needy?

Men will care for and chase a woman he believes will need him and respect him. Does that mean that a confident woman doesn't fit the bill? How can you be both confident and submissive (both traits that men desire) without having a dual personality? And do you really want to be submissive?

Let's start with the first question because the word submission has gotten a very bad reputation in past years. As used here, the word means to be considerate of the man's opinion without being judgmental, respect his person and engage his decision making skills in your relationship. In the recent years television sitcoms have made a parody of men who can't make up their minds and are under the thumb of a domineering woman or a man who is abusive.

For some reason, there is no middle man. A real man will make decisions for his family and protect the woman he loves. A real woman understands her power in the relationship, is confident in her abilities and supports her guy.

That's a description of real confidence in a relationship. If you notice, it includes a few things that some might consider submission to HIS desires and whims. But, in reality, unless that man is abusive or completely dense, it is how successful relationships will be lived out.

On the other hand, a woman who is too needy is a complete turn off. This type of behavior can come across as being smothering, overwhelming and intrusive into his life. Suddenly when you thought you were being the submissive little wife you though he wanted, you turned into a stalker who folds his socks, makes his lunch and irons his underwear when you don't even live together!

The best kind of confidence strikes between arrogance and self-doubt. The first will make it look like you feel superior to those around you and the second will keep you groveling for his attention. Neither of these characteristics will endear you to his heart, win him over or make him pursue you.

Instead, it's time to recognize your own self-worth, keep your plans with your girlfriends and let him make the plans for the next date. When something is going wrong in your life, share it. Being vulnerable displays your confidence in yourself and your trust in his ability to protect your feelings. Both of these are sure to keep him coming back for more.