Coping with grief

Coping with grief is a skill that nearly everybody has to exercise at some point in his or her life. It’s not easy and there doesn’t seem to be much you can do to prepare for a grieving situation beforehand. Common triggers of grief are obviously deaths of loved ones, loss of a friendship, loss of health, loss of a job, or any other situation that results in a significant loss of some kind.

The human brain is very complex and everybody copes with grief in their own way. A large part of your coping strategies are determined by your personality, your life experience, the nature of your loss and other uncontrollable factors such as genetics. Therefore, giving generalizable advice about what you should do to overcome your grief is difficult to do. However, it can be beneficial to eliminate some of the myths about grief that often stand in the way of the coping process.

First, ignoring your grief will not make it go away faster. Ignoring it will essentially bury it to the point that it will come back at some time in the future. In Fact, suppressing grief could cause longer term emotional & physical trauma. Although not easy, It is important to embrace the grieving process and actively work through it if you want to resolve it. Embracing does not mean celebrate however if you have lost someone close, you can focus on their gifts and the great times they shared with you vs. focusing what you have lost.

Secondly, there is no set time frame that you’re “supposed” to grieve. In the early ears of experts trying to understand grief better, there was varying research stating that grief lasts about a year, but that cannot be proven as a fact do the variance factors in the individual person. Some people are able to work through their grief fairly quickly while others must battle with it for a long period of time. Nobody can set a limit on how long your grief is supposed to take. The challenge is, for some people, grieving for too long can also disrupt their ability to move forward and progress with their lives. The long term grief also affects the people around them.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that there is not a “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Obviously, we associate crying with some kind of loss, but a lack of tears does not mean a lack of grief. You will have your own way to express your sadness and that is no more right or wrong than anybody else’s way of coping.

If you know anyone that is grieving and or has been grieving for a long time, it is important to help them in any way you can which includes referring them to a trained professional such as a counselor or a coach.

If you yourself are currently grieving, finding somebody, like a coach or a counselor, to talk to and help you is a possible avenue to greater happiness and successful conclusion of the very natural grieving process.