Could You Be Your Own Worst Enemy?

The toughest challenge for many right now is too much to do and no time to do it.

Often reorganisations have shifted responsibilities, and maybe there are fewer people to handle the same amount of work. This may be affecting you, your team or perhaps a friend or family member.

Now I don’t know about you, but I often realise later I’m at least partly responsible for creating overload situations for myself. And although it may sound strange, I often see others do it unintentionally too, both at home and work. At times, I wonder whether we really could be our own worst enemy when it comes to managing our time.

After all, it’s easy to say ‘yes, leave it with me’, ‘no problem, I’ll take care of it’ and then regret it later, isn’t it? Sometimes, it’s as if my mouth just opens and I respond without giving any thought to how or when exactly I’ll do it. And many hours of precious time and energy can be spent on activities for others that benefit me little.

Intellectually, we know the time available is finite, and taking on extra tasks increases pressure on ourselves. It can delay our projects and responsibilities, letting others down and risking our reputation.

We can even feel resentful and angry, which probably isn’t going to help deliver a great result. It reduces time available for rest and leisure, risking burnout, stress and exhaustion. And over time, can lead to physical and mental health issues too.

So why do we do this even though we know it can cause problems?

Usually the very best intentions are the cause. Many people just want to please and help others because they can. It can be very gratifying to know others appreciate or need our help, to know we’re liked. The way we were brought up often leads us to habitually follow patterns - perhaps not to be selfish or rude, to help others in need or pain, not to hurt anybody’s feelings – to be nice, in other words. Don’t rock the boat.

And in the current economic climate, it’s understandable we may be keen to demonstrate a positive or ‘can do’ attitude. Perhaps we enjoy the opportunity to demonstrate expertise or retain control of certain activities.

Or it may feel easier to say ‘yes’ (at least in the short term) than risk conflict, criticism or rejection.

And sometimes we say ‘yes’ because we hadn’t thought much about what we want or are prepared to do. So we make decisions in the moment, perhaps feeling pressured to do so quickly, and suffer the consequences.

So what can you do to prevent overloading yourself?

 Remember it’s perfectly ok - even essential - to say ‘no’ sometimes. You can still be nice, helpful and accommodating without being a pushover. Offer what you can do, if appropriate. You must do this to protect your health & sanity, deliver on what you say you will do and ring fence some personal time.

 Become very clear on what your goals are both at work and home. If necessary, sit down with your manager to ensure you both agree on what is most important, and focus on that.

You can then use these goals to help you prioritise requests. If a request doesn’t achieve the goals – saying ‘no’ is an option.

 Imagine you have an invisible ‘boundary’, like a moat, protecting you from the intrusions and unreasonable requests made by others. You probably haven’t thought about it before - but where is your boundary? What is it acceptable for others to expect from you?

If you haven’t considered it before, where do you choose to draw the boundary line between work and home?

It’s essential you balance the desire to be professional and deliver exceptional service, with the necessity to rest and relax. Saying ‘No’ to some requests is the only way to maintain your reputation for delivering on commitments, and being able to do it all over again tomorrow.

Notice any adjustments necessary to achieve this, and make them soon.