This is the first of eight myths voiced by fictional parents David and Laura Sherwood at the outset of the short film "Talk to Strangers." The Sherwoods rely upon the myths to explain to an offscreen filmmaker why they are about to subject their two children, twelve-year-old Emily and nine-year-old Nicholas to a custody battle. “We do a pretty good job of insulating our kids,” says Laura, confident that she and David can control the custody case’s impact upon their kids.

Shielding children from the antagonisms of divorce, and trying to insulate them from the divorce altogether, are two very different things. It’s impossible to “insulate” children from divorce, especially contested custody or access cases that preoccupy both parents and children. And even if it were possible, children don’t need or want it.
Parents who feel they are helping their children by refusing to discuss the divorce, are not only attempting the impossible. They are also adding to the children’s anxiety by ignoring their desperate desire to know where and with whom they will be living.

There is a middle ground where parents share agreed-upon general statements of the progress of the divorce without unnecessary detail or accusations of blame. Parents seeking that middle ground are working toward a goal that is both attainable and in the children’s best interest. It’s not always easy to get there, but it’s well worth the effort.

Author's Bio: 

Larry Sarezky is a veteran family law attorney and award-winning writer and filmmaker. A former Chair of the Connecticut Bar Association’s Family Law Section, Larry has represented clients from the ranks of Fortune 500 CEO’s, MLB Hall of Famers, and Oscar, Emmy and Grammy Award winners.

Larry’s work currently work focuses upon bettering the lives of divorcing spouses and their children. His book Divorce, Simply Stated: How to Achieve More, Worry Less and Save Money in Your Divorce (2nd ed.) is an Amazon #1 Best Seller and has been named by Book Authority as “The #1 Best Family Law Book of All Time."

Larry also wrote and directed the Telly Award winning short film Talk to Strangers and accompanying parents’ guide to dissuade parents and professionals from unnecessary child access and custody battles. The Telly Award-winning film is used by judges and divorce professionals across the U.S. and abroad, and has been featured in The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, co-founded by Anna Freud.