D Is For Define

I heard a segment of a program about branding on NPR this morning when I drove over to feed my daughter’s cat. In this brief snippet, the host and his guest were talking about “sheeple”, that is, people who will follow the crowd, the style, the latest fad like sheep going to slaughter.

Another term for such people could be “lemmans”, derived from lemmings – those rodents who periodically follow one another over the cliff to their deaths – and humans – those mammals who occasionally follow the lead of someone else to their own detriment.

D is for Define.

Let me define the term:

Define – v.t. 1. to state the exact meaning of (a word, etc.). 2. to describe exactly: to define judicial functions. 3. to fix the boundary of. 4. to make clear the outline or form of.

You can, of course, let someone else define you. You can believe all those negative scripts from the past, those definitions embedded in your subconscious that tell you that everyone in your family is heavy, so you will always be heavy and just as well forget about trying to lose weight or that you’re a klutz and can’t do anything right or that there is never enough money and you’ll always have to work, struggle and scrape just to barely get by.

You can accept the “fact” that you are fat, clumsy and poor and that, furthermore, you deserve to be fat, clumsy and poor and you will always be fat, clumsy and poor. But how depressing is that?

On the other hand, you can define yourself. You can say to yourself, with conviction and determination: “I am overweight, but I’m going to lose weight”, “I may have been awkward as a child, but I’m an adult now and I can move with grace and poise”, “I do not have to be poor; I deserve abundance and I can have abundance.”

Whatever your problem may be, whatever it is that is keeping you from being the best and happiest person you can be, you can just accept it and let it pull you down like quicksand, or you can define your own reality. You can tell yourself with conviction and feeling, “This may be the situation right now, but it doesn’t need to keep me from having what I want.”

Of course, this self-pep talk is much more effective if you actually know what you want. But, hey, you can define your goals.

Want a relationship? Define the relationship you want. Be specific. Don’t just settle for the next person who comes along and expresses an interest. If they don’t fit your definition of the type of person you want to be involved with, let them know that you’re willing to be friends (if you are), but that’s it.

Want money? How much money do you want? Define the amount of money you think it will take to live the life you have defined for yourself. Be specific. Remember the definitions above? They talk about being “exact”, about fixing boundaries, about making clear. So be specific in defining what you want and keep that figure always in your mind.

These are only examples. It is up to you to define who you are, what your reality is, and what your goals are. You won’t find that definition in the dictionary, in the scripts of your past, or in the latest fad or fashion. You will only find it within yourself.

You will have to consciously and deliberately delve into your inner being, you subconscious, and find out the truth. Such a journey of discovery may take – probably should take – your whole lifetime. But it’s never too late to start.

Unless you want to end up as one of a herd of “sheeple” or as a “lemman”, it’s the only way to go.