Dear Dr. Romance: I actually forwarded him the conversation by accident

Dear Dr. Romance:

I am a woman in my thirties. It's been over a month since I last spoke with my ex-boyfriend of one year. He gave me the silent treatment because I hurt him. Or it might be his way of breaking up with me. I lied to my girlfriend about him and he found out. I actually forwarded him the conversation by accident and he read it and texted me "I will never change". 

In the past we had some problems mainly involving trust. But we always worked it out.  This time is different. I apologized by voicemail, text, email. And he won't respond. I realize it was my fault again and I'm not perfect, I wish he could have yelled at me, got it out his system and let's move on.  I explained to him it was girl talk and it wasn't a big deal, I have an imagination. All I did was change the scenario of the story. I never talked bad about him, I may have told my friend "he's not slick" but I don't think he should have been immature and given me the silent treatment. 

How do I get through to him and tell him I will change for the better, just quit leaving me every time you get mad at me. 

Dear Reader:

It sounds to me as if both of you are being immature.  You, for one, are making excuses and not taking real responsibility for what you did.  Because of your mutual immaturity, I am guessing you're already back together; or you soon will be.  Why don't you make a pact to be honest and respectful with each other, and stop playing games?  If you really want your relationship to work, "Apology and Forgiveness"  and "Begin Again with an Apology" will help both of you understand what apology is and how to do it;  and "Stupid Cupid"  will help you understand what a real relationship requires.  I wish you both happiness, calmness, and a real commitment.  How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together will help you establish a relationship on an honest basis.

  Happy Partners cover

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Posted at 09:17 AM in Ask Dr. Romance | Permalink

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.