Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to bug her a lot and give her anxiety.
Written by Tina Tessina
Dear Dr. Romance:
I need some advice about this person I have been having a crush on lately. So far, our friendship has been quite okay. I recently texted her a week ago and we seem to be okay. She is doing fine and I also been calling her. She exchanged numbers with me when she couldn't get access to her laptop computer at the University. I've call her two weeks ago and we talked until I had to go to class. Then I called in the middle of the night and we talked, and she told me that she was upset with her landlord and she got kind of frustrated. When is the best time to call her on the phone or e-mail her? I don't e-mail her too much but I haven't been e-mailing her since about a month ago. Should I call her for another 3 days or a week? I don't want to bug her a lot and give her anxiety.
Dear Reader:
I think you've already annoyed her or made her anxious. From now on, use a more balanced approach. "The Tennis Match" will help you understand how to find a rhythm with this girl or anyone else you want to get to know. Every time you call her, don't call again until you get a return call from her. That's the only way to make sure you're not being too pushy. Don't keep calling or texting if she's not calling you back. "Dating: The Fine Art of Squirrel Hunting" will give you a better idea of how to relate to a date, and how to find someone else if this doesn't work out. "Getting to Yes" will show you how to have a successful conversation.
Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences contains the information, examples and exercises you need to improve all your relationships.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Article author
About the Author
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
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