Dear Dr. Romance:

I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different therapists, which I ended, because it seemed to be prolonged pointless therapy, for the sake of therapy. I am left with frustration from the futility of these experiences.  Since then, I made significant progress both in profession and family, not  in spite of bad therapy. I can't find good therapists, but I have found good books. I have tried to get some therapists to help me follow the suggestions in the books but they have refused.I would appreciate it if you can suggest me a good self help book which would help me step-by-step to become free from my negative programming.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for your kindness.  From what you write, I suggest my own book It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. It sounds like you have some attachment issues which keep expressing themselves with therapists.  I'm a bit surprised that they didn't know how to deal with those issues if you brought them up.  I think you'll find what you need in the book,  and if you want to go deeper, try The Real 13th Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the 12-Step Programs    which gives you six specific tools to modify your subconscious.  You might also find some help in my article "Winning the War Within" which is on my website for free.  Best of luck with this, and please let me know what you think.

It Ends With You 2 13th Step ebook

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.