Dear Dr. Romance 

I really admire how you advise people, please help me too. I'm married and I love my husband very much, but I love somebody else so much I don't know why although people say you can't love 2 people at the same time but I do. coz I love him very much and am jealous with him. He is a married man also and he loves me too, more than his wife. Please tell me what to do coz am confused.

Dear Reader:

You are playing with disaster here. Yes, you can love two people at the same time, but you don't have to act on it. If he really loved you more than his wife, he'd be yours. He's not, so you have to stop fooling yourself. Break off contact with this man. If you have to see him because of work or because it would make your spouses suspicious, then keep your contact to group settings. No e-mail, no phone calls, no secret, whispered meetings. If you do that, you'll find that your feelings will fade in a few months.

Put your energy where it belongs, into making your marriage the best it can be. Pour all these loving feelings out on your husband, your children, your family. You can learn how in my article "Relating With Love" If you continue with this pseudo relationship, you'll hurt yourself and a lot of other people.  If you can't stop, talk to a professional counselor or your pastor. You need to fix this problem before it becomes a disaster. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will show you how to find low-cost counseling.

Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things that Can Ruin Your Relationship has information and exercises you can do with your husband to increase your satisfaction in the relationship.

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For low-cost phone counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.