Dear Dr. Romance,

I am a young adult male who has always had some sort of complication in relationships. I need help on deciding what I should do from the point at where I’m at now. The situation is that I have been talking to this girl.  She first started talking to me but I didn't really think much of it at the time. We started talking on a regular basis, and she began to like me. She liked me more than I liked her and she began to think I only talked to her because I was bored. As it got later into us talking I noticed I started to like this girl a lot. As her liking for me dimmed down slightly because she thought I didn't care. I tried to tell her differently but she always thought I was joking. 

So one Saturday morning I get a text from her:  "I did something bad last night." I later found out she had sex with this kid. I was mad but I never stopped talking to her. She then started liking this kid. And she felt bad because she didn't want to have sex with him and not mean anything. Because then shed feel like she got used. She has only had sex with him on that one occasion (so she says). But now she likes both of us. She talks to me every day and him like every other day or only for a few minutes at night. I have asked her to make a decision and she refuses to. I know she is young and immature but I feel I must not give up. I like her. But she likes this other kid and I feel like crap. We have only hung out once in person so that might be why things are different. She says she only "like likes" this kid and "love likes" me. I think I need to hang with her more in person and see how things go. I just hate having my heart out in the open. And I'm sick of waiting and feeling I’m not good enough everyday. 

Dear Reader:

You're right, you need to hang out in person more. She needs to be in your presence, so the hard-to-get guy isn't more attractive.  But, please keep in mind that she's probably in a fickle state right now. She may go back and forth for a while. She sounds very immature, so be careful if she's not of age.  You may be setting yourself up for disappointment.  Pay some attention to other girls, to give her the message that you won't wait forever.   To learn more about relationships, you can read my articles "Where is Love?" and "Dating: The Fine Art of “Squirrel Hunting” and my book, Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today


Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love

For low-cost counseling, email me at


You might also like:

Dear Dr. Romance: My daughter told me that she can't ...

Dr. Romance on How Not to be Shy at a Party

Dear Dr. Romance: What Is The Grieving Process?


Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.