Dear Dr. Romance: 

I am single man, I have question for you, is it natural for a man to masturbate? I normally, do it everyday, sometimes 4 times a day. Tell me if its wrong or normal to fantasize my cousin and she is a woman? Is it that wrong thing to do? I love to masturbate and to me its fun and great feeling. Do you have any advice. I want to know if there is anything wrong with me. I need your help.

Dear Reader:

There is nothing wrong with masturbation. What seems to be wrong is that you have too much time for it, and I'm guessing, because you're fantasizing about your cousin, you don't have enough contact with other girls. 

My advice is to get a life. Get out and get busy. Work off some of your excess energy. If you're in school, get involved in some activities, or get a part-time job. If you're out of school, you need an adult life: work, friends, social activities. Join some groups. Get something going for yourself. Don't turn into an isolated creep who only lives a fantasy life.  "Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends" will get you started on a healthier focus, and "Dating: The Fine Art of Squirrel Hunting" will show you how to prepare for successful dating.

It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction has the information you need to get in charge of your life, to motivate yourself and to choose a healthy focus.

IEWY new cover

For low-cost phone counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.