Dear Dr. Romance:

I read your article on yahoo about older woman dating younger men. Well I'm the opposite, you said on your article at the end "What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection." If this is true then I think my relationship would work out, I don't know.

You see, I have this long distance relationship. She is not with me at the present, she lives in another country. We talk to each other by email and she really wants to be with me so much. I haven't met her personally, only online. But we've exchange pictures here and there. I tried the online dating thingy for the first time. It was weird at first but then I kind of got use to it. Don't know who you might run into. We have been emailing each for a while now, going on one month. She is what every guy wants, but as for me it's what the relationship boils down to. I have grown attached to her almost everyday. She claims I have changed her life and she wants to be with me so bad. Her English is not all that but she tries her very best. A very smart individual, caring, understanding, and just plain out right individual you want to be with all the time. At least I can understand sometimes what she is trying to say to me. But at times it is difficult. 

I write you this because there is another side of my story. I am currently separated from my current spouse due to the nature of my job and she does not know what is going on. She is also not here in the United States, currently she is overseas. I am falling deeply in love with my overseas girlfriend. And it's getting deep!!!!! I just need your opinion and see what actions I should take. Thank you for your time and consideration in regards to my situation.

Dear Reader:

Please be careful. It is easy to find women in other countries who are looking for a  connection to come here, and are not sincere. Although this sort of thing can work, there are many more sad stories than positive ones. You cannot know if you two have a real connection unless you meet face to face, so don't assume you're in love with this stranger. She can tell you whatever you want to hear, but it most likely won't be true when you discover the real picture. Also, you have responsibilities with your wife. Take care of that relationship first. You're digging a very deep hole for yourself. Please don't do it. Sort things out with your wife, and get yourself back to your real life.  "You Be the Judge" will show you how to use your judgement and not be misguided by fantasy.

The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart will help you use this opportunity to re-connect with your wife.  The separation can give you a great chance to change your relationship for the better.

Commuter Marriage


For low-cost counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.