Dear Dr. Romance:

We'd been really close and intimate. I thought we were going to be in a special relationship soon because he told me we were having something special. No matter how tired he was, he'd had his dinner with me.

He got paranoid everytime I threatened to stop talking to him when he got me all jealous. recently I was questioning him texting other girls and we brought up the 'freedom' matter. He thinks it's a freedom to text any girls he wants to.  He knows how much it'd hurt me every time I think of him doing that. I asked him if I was just an ordinary friend to him and he suggested that we'd be best friends, just like what he's doing with some other girls!  He said he didnt want to hurt me anymore and that he didnt want to confuse himself but he wants to remain close with me?

Eventually I made up my mind that I should stop any form of contact, at all. Did I make the right move, for I know it'd definitely hurt me more to be his "best friend" while loving him. Loving someone but not getting to own that person? It's going to hurt me more, isnt it?

Just when I think about all the things he'd done, like, having dinner with me although he was so darn tired etc etc, it makes me think that it's a waste to give up on this love. =(

Dear Reader:

Yes, you made the right move. He's not even close to being ready for a relationship, or he just doesn't care very much about you. This is not love. He may be kind, but he's not caring. He doesn't have enough integrity to commit. He's not done messing around, and if you take the relationship seriously, while he's not, you're going to experience a lot of pain. Be friends with him if you want to, but stop looking for more. Find someone else to love.  "When Love is Kind"  will help you recognize the importance of kindness in a relationship.  Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today will show you a fun, safe and effective way to find a guy who can really care about you.


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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.