Dear Dr. Romance:

I think I may be having some difficulty within my marriage! :(  I dont really know if you can even help me! Maybe even give me some recommendations! I've been married for over 25 yrs. and we are in our 50s. Ever since we had a child 13 yrs ago there has been no more "romancing" in this marriage.  I miss it so much and he's not even into it no more :( He has Diabetes Type 2 and I'm just really depressed about things, plus we have money situations. I feel sooooo sickly ! :( I'm on this dang computer conjuring up guys so I can talk to them and now even thinking about having relations w/ one. I'm really thinking about it, but I'm scared and I'm also a christian and I dont want to jeapordize my marriage or my son's feelings but I'm at the point where I want to "explode" and have an affair!!!! I feel so lonely and I'm married for gosh sakes and to me that is not normal!!! :(

My son is "Autistic" and I dont want to hurt him in any way but if the right guy came along and really talked me into being w/him it wouldn't take much for the way I feel. Something might just happen!!! Can you please save me, or who else should I take this sad heartfelt marriage dilemma on the rocks to?

Dear Reader:

Be very careful; you are talking yourself into having an affair, making up excuses already, and that's dangerous. Nothing will 'just happen.' It will happen only if you agree to participate, and that's not a good idea. Instead, get yourself some counseling, either from a therapist, from family services, or from a pastor, to fix the problems of your marriage. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find the right counselor.   

Type II diabetes can definitely affect a man's sexual function and desire, but there are so many things you can do to get sexual release and satisfaction even with the diabetes problems. Please get some help, you're under a lot of stress. Don't make things more stressful and create a tragedy by having an affair. Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences will help you communicate more successfully with your husband.


For low-cost counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.