Dear Dr. Romance :

A man loves woman #1 but he was unhappy with the relationship for some reason. He was stressed financially. He was supporting his family. He has 2 children with woman #1 all he wants is the best for them and them to be happy and have a family. He has been going out, hanging out with friends; and says he's doing this to relieve his stress at home.

He has been unfaithful to the mother of his children He was confused if he loves her and thinking that he might just her only because woman #1 is the mother of his children.  Then he found out that woman #1 is cheating on him with another man. He was hurt and angry. He found someone else that is the total opposite of woman #1. He fell in love with her and cares for Woman #2.

He and the first woman have been together for almost 5 years, and she was dependent on him financially. He tried to send her back to school but she didn't take it seriously and dropped out. She was there for him and put up with him all these time. He know she loves him and cares for him. He felt guilty that somehow he neglected her therefore she went and looked for the attention she needed from another man. In short she cheated on him. He forgave her and tried to work things out with her but she cheated again. Now she's gone, has her own place, moving on with her life, got a job, receiving welfare & child support, and has a new boyfriend. In spite of what woman #1 has done to him yet he still feels that wanted her back into his life.  He thinks she is the love of his life and wants a complete family.

He met the second woman 1.5 years ago. He felt that he was happy with her. He felt the happiness that you have never felt in your life. He loves her and she loves and cares for him too. She has been there for him, understood his situation, and accepted all his flaws. She has a good job. She likes his children and his children like her. She had let him go, the first time around when he told her that he wanted to work things out with woman #1 and told her that he wanted to go back to his family.

He met the second woman again after he found out that woman #1 had cheated on him again. She accepted him back into her life.  She didn't know that he was still trying to get back with woman #1. He thinks that woman #1 is still the love of his life and he is willing to put everything aside to have a complete family although he knows it's not going to have the same trust that they had for each other. Now he is confused. He both loves these women. But the first woman didn't want to reconcile with him anymore. His new partner is there for him, waiting for him to be completely available for her. Should she wait?

Dear Reader:

I think Woman #2 should wake up and smell the coffee.  This man is never going to be faithful to or care for her.  He is taking whatever he can get, and not giving anything back.  She needs to find a man who really cares for her, not just whoever is handy. "Friends With Benefits" will explain why uncommitted relationships don't work. "How to Avoid Loving a Jerk" will show you how to evaluate his behavior.  "Romance is Not Necessarily Love" will help you see the difference between excitement and real love. and "Your Primary Relationship" will help you learn to take better care of yourself.

Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences will show you how to communicate with potential partners so you are not left with all these questions. 

Love Styles

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.