Dear Dr.Romance: Every time I think about him it just hurts
Written by Tina B. Tessina
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm hoping you can offer some advice. I recently fell in love with a guy going through a divorce. We weren't together for ages but I feel like it was. He was separated About 10 months when we started dating and he had confessed to having a crush on me for a really long time.
He recently decided he misses his daughter too much and is giving up his career and life and moving interstate to be closer to her. She is only 8 and the ex wife took her away. He won't 'allow' me to even think about following him.
I wonder if that's a sign he really wasn't that into me.... I just want to know so I know whether or not I should fight. Every time i think about him going it just hurts. Are there clear signs? Am i fighting a lost battle? Or am I being selfish, is this a journey as a parent he needs to take by himself? Love sucks....!
Dear Reader:
Trust your hunch. I think he was living out a fantasy, but found the price was way too high -- loss of his family and daughter.
I'm sorry, but this is a big risk with men who haven't completed their divorces and aren't settled into being fully divorced. They try to ease their emotional pain with fantasy sex. You need to grieve and move on. "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" will help you get over this loss. "Stupid Cupid" will help you find love that does not suck. Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today will help you avoid pitfalls like this and find a real relationship.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Article author
About the Author
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
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