Denial is a River in Egypt, Right?

Denial has gotten a bad reputation in a lot of circles. Most people were raised to be realistic rather than day-dreamers, but we live in a state of denial. This focus on being realistic actually places many limitations on you and focuses on the past rather than the future.

If you want to raise your children to fulfill their potential and to exceed expectations, then you must allow them to daydream and live on the banks of that lovely river in Egypt.

Otherwise, you are restricting them, energetically and emotionally tying their hands and their futures.

What you’re experiencing today is based on a culmination of your past experience.

This doesn’t mean that you’re destined to continue on the same path. That is why when parents advise their children to “be realistic,” they’re underestimating and potentially undermining them.

When you daughter tells you that she wants to be an athlete or a scientist, are you tempted to remind her that she’s never been able to catch a ball or that she isn’t good at math? When your son dreams of starting a rock band, do you want to tell him that he is tone deaf? I hope not.

Of course having talent helps in any career path, whether it’s an artistic gift, a talent for numbers, or grasping complex concepts. Talent alone is not what will bring a person success or happiness. And isn’t happiness what you really want for your kids?

Ask famous people in any field what was the key to their success and very few will answer that it was their talent. In fact, many will tell you they were not the most talented, but they were the most driven by their interest.

Being realistic can stand in your way, and our kids’ way, preventing them from the happiness that you want for them. Instead of forcing them to take a hard look at their abilities, support them and even encourage them to dream. Encourage them to try new things to find what excites and interests them the most.

This dreaming and risk-taking is what allows individuals and societies to grow. Without dreamers, there would be nothing new. Society would only be rehashing what has been done before. Without people who are willing to take a chance and follow a dream, the West would never have been “won” and Neil Armstrong would never have walked on the moon.

As a parent you might find it scary to encourage this risk-taking. You worry about their safety. You worry that they’ll get hurt. In the end, you’ll probably worry about a lot of things, but be honest with yourself; there are no guarantees in life.

You want to believe your kids will always be safe, but even if they play it safe and are realistic, there is still the possibility of them getting hurt or of failing.

When my daughter decided to follow her passion, it meant some uncertainty. She had to quit her job and have less stability in her income, at least in the beginning.

By focusing on what was possible as opposed to what was realistic, she was open to limitless ways she could succeed. This gave her the confidence to know that she had many options ahead of her that allowed her to feel fulfilled and happy in her work life, but still be a financially independent adult.

It’s never too late to encourage your kids to follow their passions, or for that matter, for you to follow your heart and your own dreams. So get on the river Denial and allow yourself to explore new opportunities. See what can be. It just might be right around the next bend.