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Dependent Relationships - Letting Go

Written by Cindy Ortiz

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished April 25, 2013
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Those who choose to be dependent on someone else can only mean one thing - they do not want to be responsible for their own well-being. They want and expect YOU to make THEM happy without a second thought toward YOUR well-being. A dependent partner will drain you of your energy just as a vampire would drain you of your blood - slowly but surely sucking you dry until there is nothing left to give. Is this the type of relationship you want to be in?

When we take responsibility for someone else's well-being, we are essentially enabling them in their chosen behavior. We are giving them permission to depend on us for whatever it is they want and need. This is not a healthy relationship - this is a trapped relationship. One that does not allow you to be who you really are; trapped in a life that will NEVER bring you that which you truly desire.

Typically through guilt, many people believe "taking care of" someone else is the right thing to do. They believe that because they made a commitment or a promise they should honor it, but at what cost? Not only are you hurting yourself but you are also hurting the other person. You are giving them and yourself a life that is not true - one that is based on lies because the truth is, you do not want to be with them. So why are you still there? Why are you living THEIR life instead of your own? Do you not care about your own well-being and happiness? Think about that for a moment because truth be told you ALWAYS have a choice no matter what the circumstance. If you try to convince yourself that you don't have a choice you are obviously holding onto some type of fear in regards to letting go. But what is there to be afraid of?

No one "needs" anyone; we just choose to have others in our lives. If someone tells you they need you; they can't live without you; they are not in touch with their true-self. They are living an unhappy and false reality, one in which they are trying to drag you into. A happy and healthy person would never compromise your well-being and they would love you enough to "allow" you to be who you are without conditions. They would want to share the journey of life with you knowing that everyone is on their own spiritual path - meaning, there may not be a "forever" and that is okay!

Always remember that YOU are NOT responsible for anyone's happiness but you are responsible for your own. So if you are in a dependent relationship, one in which you are not 100% satisfied and happy with, do not blame them, blame yourself for you are the only one who is keeping you there!

Article author

About the Author

Cindy is a Personal Development Life Coach. Her knowledge and expertise comes from 20 years of study, personal life experiences, and from working as a community volunteer and mentor. Cindy coaches people towards finding their own personal power through inner awareness; guiding them along their own unique path toward true happiness and life fulfillment. To learn more about Cindy go to www.cindy-ortiz.com. Personal Blog go to www.leaplikeafrog.com

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