Desperation Doesn't Work

You’re on a date. It’s going well. You enjoy the person you’re with, and while it’s still too early to know for sure, you have a feeling this could be something serious. Additionally, you’ve been searching for that someone for quite some time, and are tired of the whole dating scene. You may not want to admit it, but you’re desperate to find love. You want to breathe that sigh of relief, knowing that you’ve found what you’ve been searching for. The problem is, is that if you appear desperate you may scare your potential prince or princess charming away. How do you appear to not be desperate, when you really are?

Here's the key: whether we think about it or not, whether we notice it in someone or not, somewhere deep down inside we’re all desperate to find love. Human nature dictates that we strive to find harmony in our lives. We eat when we’re hungry; we sleep when we’re tired. When we feel that void in our lives, we begin a quest to find a special someone to fill it. So why it is something people are ashamed of? Why is being desperate viewed as a negative? Well if you take it to the extreme, then of course it is an unattractive trait to possess. All the unnecessary wanting and clinging can be a turn off in most occasions. However, a subtle amount of desperation is inherent in everyone.

The difference lies in how you channel it. Just take a second, and attempt to rationalize the desperation. If you can say, “its ok, I’m not being overly obvious.” Then you should be OK. If, on the other hand, you say “I’m being obvious, and perhaps my desperation is clouding my better judgment.” Then there is a problem.

You hear it over and over again: “the second she stopped looking, she found her guy.”

It always seems to happen that way, and not just in dating. When you stop searching for that perfect car, or the perfect house – often times you’ll just stumble upon it randomly. When y you’re actively seeking something, due to your desperation, you may be blinded by what the world has to offer. If something isn’t in your direct field of vision, you may miss it. When you stop looking, you open yourself up to the rest of the world, allowing other options to seep in.

So, I guess the morale of the story, is that dating isn’t easy for everyone and while its OK to be desperate, it isn’t ok to lower your standards just to appease these needs. Have fun, live your life, and believe that there is a plan for your love life.