When someone ends up getting into self-development, they could already be in a pretty shut-down state. However, if they have been this way for most of their life, they might not even realise it.

But, although they might not have a good connection with their body and thus, their feelings and a number of their needs, what is taking place at a deeper level is still going to have an impact on them. One of the ways that it can affect them is by putting a lot of pressure on their mind.

The Outcome

This can mean that they will often have a lot going on up top. For example, they can experience a lot of ‘irrational’ thoughts, obsessions and find it hard to sleep at night due to ‘negative’ automatic thoughts.

While what is going on in their mind can be seen as the problem per se, which is why they have probably reached out for support, it is likely to be a sign that their cortex is doing what it can to keep pain at bay and allow them to keep it together. Like a light that flashes on a car dashboard to show that something is not right, their mind will be warning them.


But, as they are likely to live in a society that largely doesn’t acknowledge, let alone dismiss, that human beings carry repressed pain, there will be no reason for them to consider that they are carrying pain. So, mainstream society won’t acknowledge this and neither will a large part of the self-development world.

What is going on for them, then, will be seen as a consequence of the fact that their mind is just playing up. Therefore, dealing with what is taking place in this part of their being will be the answer.

One Approach

This can mean that they will end up being told to change ‘negative’ thoughts into ‘positive’ thoughts, to change their beliefs and meditate, for instance. By doing this, their inner world will change and they will be able to function at their best.

After taking the steps, they may find that they start to experience more positivity inside them, that their mind settles down, that it is easier for them to focus, and sleep at night. If so, they can believe that they have transformed themselves.

A Closer Look

Now, even if this approach does work, if only for a short while, what it may show is that they have unknowingly used their cortex to push down pain that was trying to break through to their conscious awareness. It is then not that they have truly transformed themselves; it is just that they have pushed what is going for them further down into themselves.

Consequently, it might not be long until what is going on inside them, at a deeper level, ends up rising up again. What has been pushed down inside them might even end up undermining their physical health.

Another Part

Furthermore, by unknowingly pushing down the information that was trying to enter their conscious awareness they can be even more estranged from their emotional self. Forming deeper connections with others and knowing what they want to do might have been hard before yet now it could be even harder.

What this comes down to is that if their pain is repressed, regardless of if they are aware of this or not, they will lose touch with the part of their being. It is not possible for them to have a good connection with this part of them if they push down how they feel.

The Hurdle

The challenge, of course, is that if this pain is not even acknowledged and their ‘negative’ feelings are purely seen as a consequence of their ‘negative’ thoughts, there will be no reason for them to think that what they are doing to change their life is causing them to become more disconnected from themselves. Keeping this pain down will take a lot of energy and there may come a time when it ends up breaking into their conscious awareness.

If this takes place, they could end up feeling totally overwhelmed or have a breakdown. As things stand, they are going to be in a very shut-down and repressed state, and they won’t have access to a big part of their consciousness.

Way Back

As to why they would be in a shut-down state and would be carrying a lot of pain, this can be due to what they have been through as an adult, what took place during their developmental years, what their birth was like and their time in their mother’s womb. Their brain will have blocked out most of what took place, causing their conscious mind to forget about most of it, but their brain and body will carry the impact of what happened.

This shows that it doesn’t matter how many years pass, the pain that is inside them won’t just disappear. For them to become a more integrated human being, they will need to work through this pain.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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