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Discover Hidden Opportunities In Difficult People

Written by Dr. William G. Covington, Jr.

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished April 12, 2008
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Conflict is inevitable in relationships whether socially or at work. Some are minor, others can lead to severe stress. It may not be possible to eliminate conflict, but learning how to deal with it appropriately can enhance the quality of life by reducing stress and improving relationships. With that truth established let's consider how this negative can be turned into a positive and interacting with difficult people can lead to a desired outcome.

See strife as the enemy, not the person. Misunderstandings occur constantly because none of us can convey completely the thoughts we would like to express. Assumptions are incorrectly made about why someone did something, said something, or reacted a certain way. Much can be gain by maintaining a relationship and overlooking a perceived injustice.

Realize you have been misunderstood too. Other people have been lenient with you when you've spoken harshly and later thought about what you'd said. Grant them the same courtesy. Everyone lapses in judgment from time to time. We all would like to erase an episode in our past we're not pleased with.

Think character development. Nurturing an offense and feeling like a victim may offer temporary comfort, but it is a false feeling. People with a victim mentality do not have the mindset to be the achievers who make a significant difference. It takes a person of mature, seasoned living to overcome emotional pain to make the mark they want to make. Everyone has been treated unfairly at some point. Consequently everyone is a victim. Only by being in such an undesirable circumstance do you have the right conditions for your character to grow and/or be manifested. Choose to be an overcomer, not a victim. The rewards of overcoming far outweigh any temporary false sense of comfort found among those wallowing in their misery.

Investing a lot of time in a toxic person is not a wise use of one's time. This is not to say that disagreeable people should be allowed to rob one of valuable resources, specifically time and energy. The point is that working with difficult people does not have to be an entirely negative experience. Value comes when one repositions the process to one of character development. Life is mysterious and some odd characters cross our paths. Seeing a purpose for an unpleasant occurence adds an element that doesn't exist for "random" acts.

Creative achievers are resilient. Such flexibility begins in the mind. Handling conflict appropriately is one context where flexibility can be exercised. Employers and peers value a person who works well with others. Overlooking offenses is a skill that doesn't necessarily come naturally, but has rewards for those with the discipline to cultivate it.

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About the Author

Dr. Covington teaches on mass media management and has published textbooks and articles in the field.

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