Close your eyes for a moment. Think back to when you were five or six years old, and playing with your favorite toy. Perhaps it was a doll, or perhaps a hot wheels racer. Or maybe it was a simple cardboard box. Whatever it was, chances are you were able to build an entire world around that one item. It was the center of your amazingly vibrant and diverse universe. The sky wasn’t the limit. Nothing was when it came to your imagination. You knew what you wanted, and your mind saw no reason to limit your ability to achieve. If your car needed rocket boosters it had them. If your doll needed fairy wings she had them with a smile and wink.

That ability to imagine anything you wanted, to transform your desires into a new way to transform your world can still be accomplished today, even in your adult life. Don’t believe me? Well, your subconscious does it every day, and every night. The conscious mind can accomplish the same task as well; it just needs a new set of rules to follow.

For many adults, dreams and visions are set aside as impractical items to be dealt with sometime later in life. The idea of truly acting on your dream, feeling the essence of who you are, and what you were meant to be doesn’t fit very well in the nine to five world.

Thankfully, this simply isn’t true. Finding out what you really desire, beyond the money, beyond the security absolutely fits within a modern society. It is about truly knowing what you want, and how to accomplish it.

So now we come to the crux of the matter. You know that your life isn’t exactly the way you wish it to be, but your not sure what you want to change. Thankfully, by following a few easy steps, you can help find your own essence of desire, and ultimately realize your most cherished dream.

Step #1: Realize What You Don’t Want

Surprised? You shouldn’t be. As any goal oriented person will tell you, it is extremely important to eliminate what isn’t necessary or no longer desirable. Take the time to make a list detailing what you don’t want. It could be anything from working with negative co-workers to living in a homeless shelter. By understanding what is unacceptable, you’ll be more likely to recognize what is.

Step #2: Write Down the Whys

This is a truly crucial step in finding the essence of what you want. By understanding why you don’t want something, you can discover what your fears are if the item would come true. Let’s look at the example of living in a homeless shelter. Why wouldn’t that be desirable? Well, for starters, there would be little or no privacy. Second, you would be reliant on others to provide for you in some respect. So in essence you don’t want to live in a homeless shelter because it would strip you of your independence, and remove a part of your identity in the process.

Step #3: Write Down What you Do Want

So now that you know what you don’t want, and the reasons behind it, the next step is to visualize or vocalize what you do want. Take a look at the list of “Don’t Wants” that you created in Step # 1. Use your creative skills and transform each of those don’t wants into a do want. For example, instead of “not working with negative co-workers” you could write “work with positive, affirmative people who are goal oriented in the same direction I am.” Continue down your list, no matter how long until your entire negative “don’t wants” are transformed into “do wants.”

Step #4: Realize the Whys of Your Desires

Just like you did in step # 2, write down or vocalize the various reasons why you want what you do. This is where you discover the essence of what you want. The essence is how something makes you feel, how it affects your outlook and life view. So for an example, if you take the idea of not living in a homeless shelter, and transform it into living in a large estate, the essence of that desire might be to feel secure and independent.

By discovering the essence of what you want, you can begin realizing why your goals and desires are necessary. Once you have that, you can start planning the next steps and taking action to achieve those goals, whatever they may be.

Author's Bio: 

Joanne Roibu, the founder of, is a successful entrepreneur drawing on over 20 years of global corporate experience and excellence in building and growing businesses, developing effective teams and one-on-one executive mentoring and coaching. Joanne’s work spans across the US, Europe, Latin America, Australia and Asia.