Divorce After 2 Years Separation: Does A Separation Have To End With A Divorce - Here's The Answer!

Divorce is a devastating experience for everybody who goes through it, but it's especially hard for people who don't want to get divorced because they still love their spouse and wish they could save their marriage.

While every marriage is different, and there may be situations beyond repair, in most cases you CAN win your spouse back and repair your relationship, even after a separation or divorce, and it's not even that difficult - provided you know what to do.

You may wonder - if it's so easy, why doesn't it happen more often in real life? And that is a very good question. The answer is that people use their emotions to guide them in their efforts to bring their wife or husband back, and do things that usually have the opposite effect, sabotaging their attempts instead of helping them.

In an emotionally charged situation like a separation or divorce, you need to be able to step back and apply knowledge of the human nature to put together an effective action plan. Emotions and instincts just don't work.

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You will do things like constantly calling your ex begging him or her to take you back, leaving voice messages explaining that you are sorry for what happened, or sending them desperate emails asking your ex to meet you, trying to make them jealous, attempting to get back at them or other similar things, which will only drive your ex further away from you.

People don't like being around desperate people, that's just the human nature, so your ex will do everything to avoid any contact with you if you act in a desperate, overly anxious manner.

On the other hand, when you act cool and indifferent, it will spark your ex's curiosity - he or she may start to wonder why you are not upset and whether you have already moved on. They expect you to be falling apart, right? By not contacting your spouse for a while after divorce or separation, you are using human nature to your advantage - your spouse will eventually start to wonder what's happening, and may even try to contact you to find out why.

You also need to demonstrate to your ex that you are independent. Even if it's hard to do, you should not give them the impression that you need them in order to be happy. To be attractive and desirable, you need to be an independent and self-confident individual.

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Is divorce in your thoughts? It is a drastic step and you really need to be sure before you take it; but what if you can save your marriage? Are you still open to those kinds of ideas?

Everyone wants a good marriage but how can you turn a marriage around? Even if your partner is not yet in with the plan there are things that you can do. Begin today and do things that will improve your life together.

What Does It Take To Build A Happy Marriage?

You need honest communications. If you don't talk to each other how can you expect to rebuild what you once had? Perhaps the biggest thing is the ability to forgive. Forgiveness is the reset button on a marriage. You also need a willingness to make time for each other. Time and time together is the material that a relationship is built on. You also need acceptance. With acceptance you don't need to change every little thing about your spouse, rather you accept who they are. Finally Love. Earlier I said that time was the material that a relationship was built on. That should be time and love. Love is the intangible part, the feelings that you hold for your spouse.

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Treating Your Spouse The Right Way

After years of marriage we tend to fall into certain ways of treating our spouse. It is hard to remember how we really should treat them and what we are doing may not be good. It is time to take a look at what is going on. Do we support them in things that are important to them. Do we talk respectfully with them? Do they talk respectfully to us? Perhaps you had a bad role model in that your father teased your mother inappropriately. It is time to break through that and analyse what your actions are causing.

If you are not treating your spouse appropriately how can you expect them to treat you with respect. Love is doing the best thing possible for the person you love whether or not it is reciprocated. So if you are not getting the treatment you deserve check out what you are dishing out. Change, change the way you treat your spouse. Soon you will get back the love that you are giving.

These ideas can fundamentally change your marriage for the better. You can use them and think about them until your thoughts are clear and you learn to treat your spouse in a consistent loving manner.

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Sometimes, bad marriages happen to good people. Okay, that's not a fair statement - just because you're having problems, that doesn't mean that your marriage is "bad."

Any number of things can contribute to relationship difficulties - boredom, time issues, the stress of raising children, and money troubles can all contribute to marital troubles.

It's common for people to feel dissatisfied after awhile. You see this person every day, brushing their teeth, clearing their throat, dropping their dirty underwear on the floor, telling the same jokes over and over and over. It's only natural to feel that the magic is gone.

There's no mystery left, and suddenly it seems like everything you do annoys your spouse! Gritting your teeth and putting up with each other just makes you feel trapped, as if you made a terrible mistake and you're doomed to spend the rest of your life with the wrong person.

But when you got married, you vowed to stick it out for better or worse, meaning that you promised to do the work necessary to make your marriage thrive. And don't kid yourself - marriage takes a lot of work. But it's worth the effort, if you're willing to do what needs to be done.

1) Those awful things you do

It's often said that you can't change other people - you can only change yourself. And that's absolutely true.

You can certainly share with your spouse what it is about them that's driving you crazy, but they have to make the commitment to make those changes themselves. In the meantime, what about you? Are you perfect? Be honest. Aren't there a few things that you do that irritate your spouse?

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Maybe you don't realize that your habits are annoying. Or maybe you're so used to hearing your spouse complain that it doesn't even register anymore! Here's a short list of annoying behaviors 'take a look and see if you're guilty of any of the following:

a) Picking your nose/scratching intimate areas in public

b) Laughing at your own jokes

c) Leaving wet towels on the floor

d) Asking your spouse if you look fat

e) Criticizing your spouse in public

f) Speaking in baby talk

g) Burping and/or passing gas.

h) Using the last of an item (toilet paper, milk, bread) and not replacing it

i) Not picking up after yourself

j) Making up stories to make yourself look better

k) Putting your feet on the furniture

l) Laughing too loudly

m) Taking too long to shower or leave the house

n) Spending too much time on the computer

o) Talking about old lovers in front of your spouse

p) Being bossy or nagging when you could be kind, instead

q) Never volunteering to do chores around the house

2) Make a change for the better

First of all, you have to understand that everyone does things that irritate their spouse. And that you can change those behaviors if you want to - saying that an old dog can't learn new tricks or "I'm just set in my ways" is a cop-out, and simply a justification so that you can keep on doing those irritating things. So knock off the excuses, admit that you need to make some improvements, and make the choice to fix what's wrong.

You have to be willing to acknowledge that your behavior is hurting your marriage. Talk to your spouse about how your irritating habits - and your refusal to change them - has made your spouse feel. Odds are good that they'll tell you that it makes them feel like to you don't care about their feelings.

So assure them that you do, indeed, care, and get your spouse to help you brainstorm ways to change your annoying behaviors. In many cases, you can find a middle ground where the two of can compromise - for example, I found that my partner hated it when I left dirty laundry on the floor, but didn't mind so much that I always forgot to replace the toilet paper roll. So I negotiated a sort of amnesty where the toilet paper was concerned while promising to put my dirty clothes in the hamper. Remember, marriage is about compromise!

Let your mate know that you need positive reinforcement for making changes. An occasional "I'm proud of you" or "thanks for doing that" will go a long way towards encouraging you to keep up with the new behavior. Many people also find that replacing a bad habit with a good one is easier than just stopping cold turkey, so try and find something pleasant to replace the old behavior.

And don't be so hard on yourself if you slip up occasionally. We're all flawed, and we all make mistakes. If your marriage is suffering because of your bad habits, just the fact that you're willing to admit your flaws and work to fix them will make a huge difference - because it shows how much you care!

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Couples struggling to save their marriages or relationships, often want to seek counseling but do not. The reason why they don't go to another person is for social reasons. They feel answering questions to a third person will lower their self esteem. But sometimes, you do not know what to do when your marriage or relationship is in trouble. The signs to spot trouble in your marriage or relationship is when, you feel the silence or the distance between you is increasing.

When he or she do not have enough time to talk about things, that is When you feel detached. You feel the questions or the things that were usually answered by your partner are not being answered now. You should be concerned, if your partner is spending more time outside with friends or at work. Maybe something is up. If he or she is no longer interested in planning activities together. The biggest alarm is if you are always fighting. Fighting is normal between couples, but when you feel it is getting out of control. Then You need to wake up and smell the coffee.

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Getting professional help is always a great solution to solving these problems. When you seek professional help, the Doctor, tries to mediate between you a plan which can work wonders to your relationship. He or she can help you figure out what the real problems are. The best thing that a professional can do is ask what you both are not telling each other. Maybe you would be more comfortable sharing your thought with the counselor, rather than each other. Sometimes by the end of the meetings you realize there is nothing big like infidelity, which is affecting your relationship but rather but rather misunderstandings.

Seeking an experts advice is always the best way to get to the bottom of any solution. This way both of you do not feel threatened by being helped by his or her friend. You both are seeking help from a person who is neutral, and is listening to both of you. Make sure you share your thoughts, concerns and fears with the counselor.

I am sure by the end of it you will know exactly where your life is heading. Do not rush any decision, And never be too late to seek the right guidance.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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