Do You Perceive Yourself to be a “Special” Person, therefore Not Succeeding at Having an Intimate Relationship?

If you are unsuccessful in developing an intimate relationship you might – like many others - perceive yourself as being “particular” – hereby justifying to yourself the fact that you are unsuccessful. But the fact of the matter is, “particular” are those who are willing to develop Self-Awareness, figure out how they have harmed their attempts at relationships until now and take the necessary steps to change. What does “particular” mean? If this is what you think – that you don’t have a relationship because you are “special” - you might neglect to acknowledge the fact that being “particular” actually means: there is something in you which withholds you from being able to develop a healthy and satisfying intimacy with another: be it your stubbornness; be it your egoism; be it your “different” view of the world; be it your inability to open up for another; be it your control and power issues; be it your inability to accept someone else’s view-point; be it your inability to communicate, to engage in a process of “give and take”, or to be there for another. It takes strength to admit your weaknesses It might also be that you, like many others who are desperate for a relationship and failing time and again, succumb to deciding that you are so “particular” that there is no way you’ll ever find someone suitable for you. If this is the case, think twice: maybe the time has come for you to understand, once and for all, what has hindered your ability so far to find a partner with whom to develop a relationship. If you get up the courage to admit to yourself – and at times to your friends too – that it is not that you are “particular”. No. This is just a mask you wore until now to justify to yourself – as well as to others – you being single. But now, with full honesty, you must admit that no, you are not “particular” – you have just been trying to camouflage your weaknesses, to deny and reject those traits in you which stood in your way from developing a satisfying relationship. It is better late than never to admit your weaknesses and to embark on the road to self-healing, to change, and to increase your ability to find, develop and maintain good intimacy. You should applaud yourself if this is what you do. It isn’t easy to admit your weaknesses, to decide to develop Self-Awareness, to get up the courage to look inwards, to look yourself in the mirror, and to make the effort to change whatever needs change – emotional, attitudinal and behavioral patterns of years and years – and to emerge strong, empowered and wholeheartedly willing to succeed in finding a partner and developing a healthy and a satisfying relationship. A “particular” person is one who is willing to change If you get up the courage to develop Self-Awareness, you can then feel yourself not only lucky, but also “special” and “particular”. The reason being, that there are not many who are willing to take the risk to look inside, develop Self-Awareness, figure out how they have harmed their attempts at relationships and take the necessary steps to change. And you, by beginning the process of Self-Awareness, are the one who will succeed in seeing your dream of intimacy come true.